5 wedding non-negotiables from the grooms

Every wedding has a “non-negotiable”. You know, the thing that somehow survives every budget cut, debate, and “do we really need this?” discussion. It could be anything, from a Hall & Oates tribute band, the attendance of dear aunt Peggy or even $50,000 worth of flowers. (Cassie, we’re looking at you.)

Wedding non-negotiables are usually about the bride’s must-haves but, as a gentleman who knows what he’s talking about put it: “grooms are allowed to have an opinion.”

So we asked five Easy Weddings grooms what they fought tooth and nail for on their wedding day. From a custom suit, to single-location celebrations or even an outdoor cinema, read on to find out what they just HAD to have at the wedding. We reckon this is a good place to start figuring out yours. Non-negotiable, of course.

I think it's a little bit gouache when men go, ‘Oh, my opinion doesn't matter. I'm going to get it all. This is for her.’ And it's just like, ‘Well, no, there's going to be two of you standing up there.’

Lachie, Weddings by the Beard

“You know what this day needs? More commuting.” said no couple ever.

Kaleb and his wife tied the knot with a lovely heritage wedding last December at Brisbane Golf Club, and they kept the whole celebration in one venue (their wedding guests still thank them to this day).

“A non-negotiable for me was having the ceremony, reception, and wedding party photos all in one location. This took the stress out of organising multiple venues and having to commute between locations.” Kaleb shared.

For him, keeping everything in one location meant less running around, less coordinating transport, and more time actually enjoying the wedding. Not to mention, “It also allowed my beautiful bride and I to have more time together to enjoy our day.”

Convenient? Yes. Smart? Also yes.

I've had tabletop gaming nerds roll dice to see who goes first. I did a wedding a couple of weekends ago where they solve all their big decisions by using a spinning wheel, so we got the clicking wheel out for them to decide who's doing their vows first and who their witnesses were going to be.

Lachie, Weddings by the Beard

The dance floor usually gets most of the attention at a wedding, but not everyone wants to spend the night attempting a knee slide to Mr. Brightside. Jess and his bride Maddie kept that in mind as they planned their wedding non-negotiables.

For those less inclined to busting a move, he had another idea. “Not everyone loves dancing, so we created a beautiful space with lounges under a huge wisteria tree and rows of fairy lights where guests could stretch out on the grass under the stars and watch Love Actually.” He said.

As if that wasn’t enough? “We even had an old-school popcorn cart and fairyfloss machine.”

Creating different spaces and experiences gives guests more freedom to celebrate in their own way, and makes all the difference in terms of experience for the people you love.

Plus, who doesn’t actually love Love Actually?

Put a group of adults in front of a camera, add permission to be a little silly, and suddenly, complete strangers are crammed into a photo strip looking like lifetime besties. That’s the magic of a photo booth.

For Stan’s Barilla Bay Oyster Farm wedding, it was the perfect non-negotiable to give their guests something to break the ice with. Preferably through a few wacky faces.

“We didn’t have wedding favours, as such, so this was a great memento – it got people who have never met actually in the photobooth together,”  said Stan.

Organic encounters with a photo souvenir for every guest? That’s a pretty solid return on investment.

Just be careful with those jump shots.

A lot of traditionalism gets clouded in ‘you have to do this’ or ‘you’re not married unless you do it this way.’ But people are moving away from that in a huge way.

Lachie, Weddings by the Beard

Nicholas’ non-negotiable isn’t one thing. It’s three.

“I personally have 3 non-negotiables when it comes to any wedding we attend, be it our own or others: good food, good music, good people,” he said. “I think that when you get the mix right and tick all three boxes here, you can’t go wrong.”

After all, no one ever said your non-negotiabe had to be just one thing, so dream a little bigger, lads. Good food keeps guests happy. Good music keeps the party alive. Good people bring the kind of atmosphere you can’t buy from a supplier.

It works because it focuses on the things people actually remember long after the wedding ends. Nobody reminisces about chair covers.

They remember the meal, the tunes, and dear ol’ aunt Peggy doing a shoey.

Incoming groom Lachie, with his signature facial hair, has attended his fair share of weddings, most of them not as a groom or guest, but as the celebrant pronouncing the couple as married! Being a wedding veteran, his biggest non-negotiable isn’t a vendor or a budget item.

“As far as non-negotiables go though, my big thing is I just want it to feel like my day as well, but also their day about grooms. And the best way to do that is to put bits of personality in there,” He says.

His bit of personality? He’ll be wearing it.

“I know, for example, I’m wearing an embroidered suit to my wedding. It’s got embroidery all up the sleeves and on the suit. That’s how I’m going to feel special and cool on my day as well.”

Sure, not every groom will go the route of an embroidered suit with custom detailing up the sleeves, but the point is that having something that’s unmistakably “you” makes all the difference.

The day is becoming more and more about the couple and less and less about things they feel they need to do and entertaining the guests they're inviting and paying for.

Lachie, Weddings by the Beard

Looking at these five grooms, it’s clear there aren’t any universal groom non-negotiables. Some want a wedding that feels more personal. Some want less stress, others want better guest experiences, and honestly, maybe the rest just want to watch a movie.

Whatever yours is, don’t be afraid to claim it. After all, weddings are one of the few times in life when you get to build an entire day around the things and people you love most. So find the thing that matters to you and give it a spot on the list.

Just maybe run it past the budget first.

Your non-negotiables await!

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