Having a friend act as our celebrant: Pros and cons?

Great question! I've seen both approaches work beautifully and it really comes down to what's most important to you.

Having a close friend lead a symbolic ceremony can make the day feel incredibly personal. They know your story, your personalities and your relationship, so there can be a lovely sense of authenticity. If they're confident speaking in front of a crowd and are willing to put the time into preparing, it can be a wonderful experience.

On the other hand, many couples don't realise how much goes into creating and delivering a ceremony that feels effortless. A celebrant isn't just there to read a script; we guide the flow of the ceremony, manage the timing, calm nerves, adapt (if emotions or weather) take over, work with photographers and musicians and help everyone feel relaxed and present.

One thing I'd also encourage you to think about is whether you want your friend to experience your wedding as a guest. Officiating a ceremony is a big responsibility, and they'll spend much of the day thinking about getting everything right rather than simply celebrating with you.

For example, my son is getting married in January next year. As a celebrant, I absolutely love the idea of officiating his wedding, but I've chosen not to. Instead, I'll be there as the Mother of the Groom. I want to be fully present in the moment - to share in the emotions, celebrate with him and his fiancée and simply enjoy the day as his Mum. 

There's no right or wrong choice. If having your friend marry you feels exactly right, go for it. If you'd rather they laugh, cry and celebrate alongside you, having a professional celebrant can be well worth the investment.

Whatever you decide, make sure the ceremony reflects you. That's what your guests will remember long after the day is over.

I agree there are a few pros and cons.  I have been the Celebrant for a Wedding with a second celebrant; sharing the Ceremony with the couple’s friend/family member, and I have also held a separate, simple legal Ceremony on the same day, before the formal (non-legal) Wedding. 

In the second example, the couple is already legally married before their Wedding with their guests.  Some couples prefer this, as they feel less stress, however, if the legal ceremony is held on a different day, they will have two wedding dates, which doesn't appeal to everyone.

In one instance the bride’s father officiated the Wedding ceremony and was able to come from a very personal and different perspective. The non-legal ceremony can be delivered by the family/friend from the beginning to end including personal vows; even pronouncing them Married.  

If the ceremony is presented by someone with experience, it can be very special. However, without experience, some of the finer details that an experienced Marriage Celebrant provides may be missing.

My best results have been when the family member or friend is happy to work together with me, so that we can make sure both the legal and personal requirements are achieved.

Also, it is essential that the guests at the second ceremony are informed upfront that the friend/family celebrant is not a registered Marriage Celebrant, and that the legal requirements have already (or will be) provided by a Civil Marriage Celebrant.

On one occasion, the friend/celebrant was quite entertaining.  She introduced me (as a Celebrant) to the guests at the beginning of their ceremony, explaining that she was in fact a super-woman, but not actually a Celebrant, and that I would take care of the legal requirements. She promised that together we would make sure the couple were 100% married. However, in this instance there were a few logistical and sound issues with their equipment during the ceremony.

As always, it will depend on what is important to you for your ceremony, and I wish you all the very best for your wedding.

Having a friend or family member lead your ceremony can be incredibly special.

I have been involved in many co-presented ceremonies, and they often become some of the most heartfelt weddings because the person telling your story knows you so well.

If you would like your legal marriage to take place during your wedding ceremony, a registered marriage celebrant can work alongside your chosen person. I often introduce myself briefly before the ceremony, explain my role, and then hand over to the friend or family member to conduct the ceremony. I simply step in at the appropriate time to complete the legal wording and requirements, then quietly step back so they can continue.

When it's time to sign the marriage documents, I am ready at the signing table to guide everyone through the paperwork and ensure eveything is legally correct.

Most guests barely notice the transition, and the ceremony still feels very personal.

I also bring my own PA system so everyone can hear clearly and I am always happy to help with playing ceremony music if needed. It allows your chosen person to focus on delivering a beautiful ceremony without worrying about the practical details.

If you genuinely don't want a celebrant involved in your wedding ceremony at all, another option is to have a legal-only ceremony beforehand.

Your friend or family member can then conduct your ceremony on the day as a completely symbolic celebration.

There really isn't a right or wrong choice—it comes down to what feels most meaningful to you as a couple.

Both options can create a beautiful wedding.

By all means, you can have a friend perform your ceremony.  You are wanting all the legals done beforehand and this can be done, but must be performed by a registered/authorised Celebrant and your two witnesses.  The rest of the ceremony can be after, with all your guests - but you are required to inform them that it isn't a wedding ceremony, as the legal wedding was performed earlier.  To get around this, you could involve the Celebrant in the wedding, where he/she does the legal sections and your friend does the rest - I have been involved in several of these and they work very well.  The other upshot of this, is that you can use the Celebrant's PA for the ceremony, if needed!

There are a few short parts to the "legal" ceremony and could even be performed on the day before your other ceremony, if that is the way you want to go.

Stuart Kemp - SingerCelebrant

I think there are both pros and cons to doing it this way! Pros are it will typically be a bit more budget friendly by having the authorised marriage celebrant do the legals only, and it could be fun and sentimental having a close friend do a "mock" ceremony for show on the day you have your reception/celebrate. As mentioned in a previous comment, that friend can't pronounce you as husband and wife or make any declarations, and can't represent it as being a legal ceremony, but they could share your story and some nice words about you both and have you kiss etc.

I'm performing a legals only ceremony for a couple later this year, and they have opted to do it in a similar format! Alternatively, you could have the celebrant come along on the day to do the ceremony with the friend, and have the celebrant do the legal part only, and the friend could do the story part, kiss, rings etc. It would be more collaborative, but keeps the ceremony into a single event. As the celebrant's work/role is minimsed in this scenario, I would think you could negotiate a lower price for this as well.

The only other thing I would keep in mind is that a celebrant is a professional storyteller, that has a lot of experience in writing and presenting ceremonies. You would want to make sure your friend is comfortable with public speaking, using AV equipment (if applicable) and wont flake out on you at the last minute! I'd also pick a friend that you know will stick around for years to come, because if there was ever a falling out (which I hope would never happen), it could be a bit awkward to have them in the photos and/or videos - which wouldnt happen with a hired celebrant!

I have actually been involved where a close relative presented the non legal aspects of the wedding and yes, it was beautiful- but you can't limit it to the legal documents. The registered celebrant must be involved in the ceremony itself. They need to say a particular paragraph (The Monitum) and listen to your 1line legal vows. If you don't want any involvement of the celebrant on the day you could have a "legals only" before hand where the statements I referred to and the signing can occur with just you and your witnesses.

However if the celebrant has already married you or you are not having them involved as required you must make it clear to the guests that what is happening with your friend is not a wedding. 
The ceremony I was involved in had me do the legal documents, step in during the wedding to say the monitum and hear the vows then step back until required for the signing. Everything went very smoothly. Wishing you a happy experience on the day! 
Liz Solomon Celebrant