Wedding moments guests secretly hate (and how to avoid them)

Planning your wedding and wondering what guests really think? Let’s spill the tea on the little things that can quietly ruin the vibe. These are some of the wedding moments that guests secretly hate.

From the viral cake smashing (eek) to overly long speeches (yawn!) weddings are all about fun and joy, but there are some wedding moments that guests secretly hate, and we have the 4-1-1 on these to make sure your wedding isn’t hitting red flag territory.

To help you dodge these common pitfalls, we turned to Instagram and asked our followers to spill the tea on their biggest wedding pet peeves.

Confusing or poorly planned seating charts

An often-dreaded wedding planning task is the seating chart, so it’s no surprise that this happens to be among the top things guests complain about. The last thing you want is for guests to be wandering around the reception aimlessly, trying to find their seats. And when seated, they’ll want to be in the company of familiar faces or guests with similar interests.

How to avoid: One option is to seat guests on long banquet tables, eliminating the need to split people into smaller groups. It also makes planning the seating chart easier, as you’ll only have a few tables to work with instead of lots of individual round tables. If you are having round tables, we suggest grouping guests who don’t know each other based on their age or interests.

When designing your seating chart sign and table numbers, make sure they are clear and easy to read so that guests aren’t wandering around awkwardly trying to figure out where they’re sitting. We’ve seen endless creative ideas for seating charts and escort boards on Pinterest, including individual envelopes for each guest and adorable wedding favours that double as name cards.

Overly long and boring wedding speeches

Wedding speeches are a chance to share heartfelt moments, but there’s a fine line between memorable and monotonous. Long-winded speeches can quickly lose the room, especially when they’re packed with inside jokes that leave most guests scratching their heads. And while it’s lovely for friends and family to want to say a few words, not everyone needs to grab the mic.

How to avoid: The key is to limit the number of people you invite to give a speech and remind them to keep things short and sweet, ideally no longer than five minutes. Traditionally, speeches are given by the maid of honour, best man, and parents of the couple, but if any of them aren’t comfortable with public speaking, don’t force them to!

A lack of good food and drink

Food is often the most talked-about element of any wedding, and it’s easy to see why. Guests expect to be well-fed, so when the menu features dishes they’ve never heard of —or worse, can’t enjoy— it can leave them feeling underwhelmed. Skimpy portions, low-quality options at a buffet, or a cocktail-style reception with just a few bites to graze on can quickly sour the mood. Weddings are celebrations, and no one wants to feel like they have to stop for fast food on the way home.

How to avoid: Choose your caterer wisely — read reviews, check out their socials, browse sample menus, make sure they cater to dietary/cultural requirements, and ask if they offer pre-wedding menu tastings. If possible, take the time to sample every item you plan to have on your wedding menu; that way, you’ll know the quality and taste of each dish before it gets served to your guests.

Looking for a caterer to make sure your guests don’t go hungry? Start by browsing our suppliers! 

Waiting around for long periods of time

Few things test a wedding guest’s patience like long gaps between the ceremony and reception. Whether it’s hours waiting for portraits to wrap up, a far-flung venue that stretches the timeline, or an endless lull before the party starts, these delays can drain the excitement and leave guests checking the time.

How to avoid: If possible, try to keep the gap between your ceremony and reception to a minimum. To save time, you could do a first look and get photos out of the way. Or, if that’s not your thing, another option is to get some of the bridal party photos done before the ceremony.

The music

Music is the heartbeat of any wedding, and when it misses the mark, guests feel it. Like that scene in Love, Actually  where two wedding guests hang their hat on the next song at a wedding to declare if this was the “worst wedding DJ of all time”. And, he won the award! That’s right, pop culture even references the importance of having a great DJ, talented live band, or whatever else you choose as your entertainment. The operative word here? Talented. Although your nephew might be able to bust out one or two songs on the clarinet, your wedding is not his Eisteddfod.

How to avoid: To avoid a musical misstep, start with a great DJ or band who understands how to read the room and keep the energy alive. Share a list of must-play songs that reflect your style and are crowd-pleasers, but also give them the freedom to adapt on the fly. Skip overplayed group dances if they’re not your thing, and instead focus on tracks that appeal to a wide range of ages and tastes.

Cake smash

Any moment in a wedding that is being done for a viral moment is kind of on the outs now. Cake smash is absolute top of that list. What seems like a cute photo-op turns into an awkward mess. Whilst some couples might be okay with smearing frosting across each other’s faces, guests usually cringe at the sight of someone’s $300 makeup job or custom made suit being covered in buttercream (or, cringe, fondant!).

The laughter is polite, but many are secretly thinking about how long the couple will spend cleaning crumbs and icing out of their eyelashes.

How to avoid: Feed each other the cake nicely! Let your photographer capture a moment of romance, not a food fight!

Find a cake worthy of every last bite!

Cash bar

Few words dampen wedding excitement like, “Drinks are available for purchase at the bar.” After dressing up, buying a gift, and possibly travelling, guests expect at least a complimentary glass of wine or champagne. A cash bar can make the celebration feel less like a wedding and more like a random night out.

How to avoid: If the budget is tight offer a limited selection of beer wine, or a signature cocktail – guests will appreciate the gesture more than a full cash bar.

Inappropriate toasts

The toast is supposed to be sweet, sentimental, and just a little funny, but there is always a risk of someone oversharing, rambling, or telling inside jokes that can leave the crowd in an awkward silence. Nothing kills the vibe faster than hearing about the groom’s uni escapades in front of grandma.

How to avoid: Gently guide your speakers ahead of time, and encourage short, heartfelt stories and remind them it’s not an open mic at a comedy club.

Garter toss

What was once considered cheeky fun now often lands in the “please don’t!” category. Watching the groom crawl under the bride’s dress whilst grandma maybe clutches her pearls (and your coworkers look away), this has become more uncomfortable than entertaining. By the time the garter is flung into the crowd, everyone is ready to just move on.

How to avoid: Skip it altogether or replace it with a fun, inclusive activity, like a dance-off or trivia game.

The jury’s out on these ones…

Some wedding features sit firmly in the grey area: loved by some, loathed by others. These divisive elements can spark conversation and controversy, leaving it up to personal taste and the vibe you want for your day. Whether they’re a hit or a miss often depends on the crowd and the context.

Here’s what you told us could go either way:

• Not receiving ‘thank you’ cards.
• Sit down dinners.
• Entry dances / first dance.
• Having to do small talk with people at your table.
• The bouquet toss.

Make your wedding seamless in your planning. Easy Weddings keeps it all in one place and takes the stress away so that you can enjoy this time of bliss. Register today.