Playing Cupid: Real arranged marriage stories

We here at Easy Weddings accept all love and marriage, whether it stems from affection for one another or arranged by the respective families. While we all acknowledge arranged marriages exist in certain cultures, our true understanding of the topic can fall short. We’ve compiled real arranged marriage stories primarily from India, to further broaden our knowledge and truly welcome other traditions into Australian culture.

Casting Agent required

Cynth Chan, Quora Digest

Cynth Chan responded to a question on Quora Digest, telling of her friends’ arranged marriage. Her friend (let’s call her Mili) was 23, a dental student, and single. 23 is the ideal age to get married in Urban India, so Mili’s parents set about hiring an agent to find any appropriate suitors. Their check list included: Someone in the dental or medical field, preferably of the same caste or of higher caste, from the same village or state, and older than the girl.

After nine months of texting and calling the chosen candidate (let’s call him Ram – a 30 year old practitioner), the two finally met at Mili’s home. The wedding date was set after their first meeting, and the two were married within a few months.

While Cynth Chan specified that the two had yet to consummate their marriage 6 months into being wedded, she also believes they had fallen in love with one another and were content with married life.

Online matrimonial service

Padma Rangarajan, Quora Digest

Padma Pangarajan herself had an arranged marriage. Padma met her now husband on an Indian matrimonial website. While she lived in India, he lived in the US. He found her profile and contacted her himself – which is unheard of in Indian culture. Usually it is the parents who do the arranging and the initial contacting. The respective parents approved however, as the two’s horoscopes matched.

The two spoke online and on the phone for a few months before Padma’s husband-to-be came to meet her. After the meeting, the parents discussed with one another: “My son likes your daughter; he has refused to meet anyone else. Are you willing to proceed?”

Eight months later the two were married. While the relationship began as a friendship, within a year it blossomed into love. They’ve now been together eight years, and according to Padma, wouldn’t change a thing.

Eventual love

Neha Saraswat, Quora Digest

Neha Saraswat had an arranged marriage. She and her now husband met officially only two times before being wedded – their first meeting, and when they got engaged. Of course, the two met in secret during their courtship – though only in his city as he was too scared of his parents to travel to her city.

Neha Saraswat says it’s down to pure luck that she chose the first suitor she met. While the first years were rocky – the two did not love each other, and found the family pressures suffocating – love eventuated, and the couple discovered the importance of having one another.

10 years on, and Neha is happy in her marriage. She believes she couldn’t have married a better person, and they (now) love and respect each other unconditionally.

But what about those who are not so lucky?

Unlucky in love

Sometimes, even pursuing an arranged marriage can be fruitless.

An anonymous contributor asked Quora: why have I been rejected in all potential matrimonial alliances what were proposed to me if I am a 27 year old woman, a post-graduate medicine student, and reasonably good looking?

Though this should usually come as a compliment, Quora responders suggest this woman’s rejection stems from her being ‘above average’. Apparently, her credentials could be scaring off potential suitors, who may only be seeking an ‘average woman’ to settle down with. Someone that doesn’t make them feel ‘inadequate’ in comparison.

Back to the matrimonial website then, I suppose.

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