So, you’ve met the woman of your dreams and you’ve decided the time is right to pop the big question. Congratulations! Now all there is to do is book a restaurant, have a shower and wait for the perfect moment during dinner to make your move, right?
My name’s Dave and I proposed to my girlfriend a few months ago and I learned that proposing is about so much more than simply asking “will you marry me?”
Yet, it’s something no one ever teaches us blokes about! We’re left to fend for ourselves and work everything out on own, so I’m going to share my experience of proposing to my beautiful fiancee.
Here are the 10 things I wished I new before I proposed.
It does have to be special
Men often talk about a wedding day as if that’s all it is; just another day.
In reality, and particularly for your bride-to-be, the magic of your wedding wedding begins the very moment that she says “Yes” to your proposal.
Getting engaged is a momentous occasion. It’s the start of an incredible adventure that the two of you get to share with each other.
Your proposal should reflect this. All she wants to see is that you’ve made an effort and actually asking the question is only half of it! You don’t have to do anything that costs the world, it just has to be special and loving.
Ask her parents
It may seem completely outdated to you, but some women still expect their partner to have asked her father, mother, or both for their blessing.
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There’s only one way of knowing whether this is expected, and that’s by asking your partner. To do so tactfully, mention that a friend recently proposed and that he asked his fiancée’s father for beforehand. You can judge what is expected of you from her reaction.
You don’t actually need ‘The” ring on the day
Buying an engagement ring as a couple after you’ve proposed is a trend that is becoming more and more common. It also makes sense and takes some of the terror out of the process for us men who don’t always know what our gals want in terms of an engagement ring. Proposing with an “inbetween” ring and, subsequently, going ring shopping together can be a nice way of side-stepping this worry. That being said, this ring women will tell you they love the ring their partner picked out of them, even if it’s not what they expected.
The best laid plans…
What element of your wedding are you spending the most money on?
No matter how well you plan your proposal or how much thought you put into it, something will, more than likely, go wrong. It could be the weather, it could be an unexpected phone call, it could be that your partner is just in a bad mood!
Whatever it is, prepare to adapt to changing circumstances. Hopefully, everything will go perfectly, but if it doesn’t, take a deep breath, keep calm and, as they say, CARRY ON!
You’ll both laugh about these things later.
Clear your schedule
Something most men do not see coming when proposing is the immediate aftermath.
This is likely to be the most exciting news of your lives to day and you’ll both want to share the good news. This often means calling family and close friends to celebrate. Everyone is going to want to hear the story about how it happened and discuss what happens next.
It’s an incredibly exciting time, but be prepared for it, and make sure your schedule is free for the following few days.
Women know their gemstones!
Generally, it is only when us blokes come to actually buying an engagement ring that we start to do any research into the subject of gems, specifically diamonds. We have a tendency to judge a ring by the price or size.
However, don’t for a second think that the fairer sex is as ignorant as we are. Most women know their gemstones!
Before you buy anything, make sure that you’ve read up about the Four C’s and the grading of diamonds or whichever gemstone you choose.
Not only do you avoid an awkward blank stare when Aunt Mildred questions you on the gemstone’s technicalities, but you will be able to find a superior stone for your hard-earned money.
The engagement party
More often than not, newly engaged couples will have an engagement party.
This can be a small affair – a few drinks at home with immediate family and close friends, or it can be a larger event where any and all well-wishers are welcome.
You don’t have to do anything. It’s completely up to the two of you, but you should know if you’re having an engagement party or not.
The planning starts today
You may be hoping that after the initial buzz and excitement of getting engaged wears off, things will calm down and that you won’t have to worry about the actual event for months, but don’t be surprised if the planning starts that very same day!
While some couples will be more than happy to hold off on the wedding planning but for others, they’ll want to start planning their perfect day straight away.
This should be a fun time, and you should get involved in the planning, but don’t be at all surprised if you’re suddenly spending your evenings discussing seasonal flowers and festive colour schemes, as I do these days!
Everyone’s an expert
From wedding bands to venues and DJs to photographers, everyone seems to be an expert when it comes to planning a wedding.
Whether you want to hear them or not, you are going to get everyone and anyone telling you what you should and shouldn’t do; who you should and shouldn’t use and why you can or cannot do something!
By all means, take on board whatever you hear that is of interest, but at the end of the day, you have to come to your own decisions as to what it right for you and your bride-to-be.
That might not necessarily be what was right for your brother or great aunt, but that’s OK.
The most important people during this time are the two people that will exchange vows on the day. Always remember that.
Getting engaged is a joyous occasion, but too often people get caught up in the frenzy and miss out on simply enjoying the moment. It’s a really fun period in your life and you’ll spend a lot of it visiting family and friends or calling those that you can’t get to, to share you happy news.
However, try and make time during the next few days to simply spend time with each other.
Soon, it will be back to reality and, for many, the stress of planning a wedding, so take the time to enjoy the days after your engagement. It’s a high we only get to experience a few times in our lives.
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