One of the wonderful things about getting married is registering for all those gorgeous wedding gifts you’ve had your eye on. But what happens when not everything goes according to plan? Here are some common wedding gift dilemmas and a few ideas on dealing with them:
A relative sent us a cheque but it bounced, should we tell them?
This is a very tricky situation, and the relative that gave you the cheque will no doubt be mortified that it bounced, so no, you probably don’t need to tell them as it will cause them a lot of embarrassment. The bank will let them know that the cheque has bounced anyway and then they can decide for themselves how to handle it.
You could always ask your mother or father, whichever side the relative is on, to have a quiet word if they think it is appropriate. That way the situation can be resolved without you having to be directly involved.
Should we tell guests who gave us money what we used it for?
Generally guests are very happy to know what use you found for the money you received on your wedding day. If you put the money towards your honeymoon, a home improvement project, or those salsa dancing lessons you’ve always wanted, tell your guests about it when you send thank you letters. If, however, you’ve decided to use the money to pay off some of the debt you built up to pay for the wedding, it might be best not to mention that!
We were sent a gift that arrived broken, what should we do?
First of all, check where the gift was sent from. If it was packaged and sent by your guest, there’s probably not much you can do so it might be better not to say anything. If the gift arrived directly from a store, you should be able to get it replaced or get a refund.
Sometimes there is a gift certificate, warranty, or insurance policy in with the gift, in which case you can resolve the problem yourself. Otherwise ask your guest if they still have the receipt. They have put a lot of effort into getting you a gift and they will want you to be able to enjoy it.
For an expensive gift it is always worth checking with the guest if they had any insurance against breakages, or whether their credit card insurance might cover it. If a gift that was delivered to your wedding venue gets broken you could check your wedding insurance to see if you are covered for that.
I think some of our gifts have got lost but I don’t know how to ask
So you haven’t had gifts from a few guests and you thought that had just forgotten, but then a friend asked you if you liked their gift and you realised it must have got lost in the mail. What if all the other gifts got lost as well? You don’t want to look as if you are fishing for gifts but you also don’t want to seem ungrateful and leave anybody out when you are sending out your thank you letters.
There are two ways to approach this problem. The first is to rope in some allies. Ask a mutual friend or your mother to bring up the subject of what they bought for your wedding next time they see the guest in question. If the guest bought you something they are bound to mention it, and then you are free to follow up and discuss it with them.
The second way is to talk to them yourself and when you get to discussing the wedding in general just mention that a lot of your gifts got lost in transit and see what they say. Most guests will probably understand that you don’t want to come right out and ask them whether they bought you anything or not. Of course you can always just send thank you cards to all of your guests. If they didn’t buy you anything they are going to be too embarrassed to mention it.
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