Planning your wedding and wondering what guests really think? Let’s spill the tea on the little things that can quietly ruin the vibe, so you can sidestep the mistakes and plan a day they’ll be raving about for all the right reasons.
Some wedding moments stick in guests’ minds for all the wrong reasons. To help you dodge these common pitfalls, we turned to Instagram and asked our followers to spill the tea on their biggest wedding pet peeves. Read on for the insider intel and our tips on how to ensure your celebration avoids these missteps entirely.
Here’s the top 10 wedding guest deal-breakers to avoid during the planning process, according to our Instagram followers:
Confusing or poorly planned seating charts
An often-dreaded wedding planning task is the seating chart, so it’s no surprise that this happens to be among the top things guests complain about. The last thing you want is for guests to be wandering around the reception aimlessly, trying to find their seats. And when seated, they’ll want to be in the company of familiar faces or guests with similar interests.
How to avoid: One option is to seat guests on long banquet tables, eliminating the need to split people into smaller groups. It also makes planning the seating chart easier, as you’ll only have a few tables to work with instead of lots of individual round tables. If you are having round tables, we suggest grouping guests who don’t know each other based on their age or interests.
When designing your seating chart sign and table numbers, make sure they are clear and easy to read so that guests aren’t wandering around awkwardly trying to figure out where they’re sitting. We’ve seen endless creative ideas for seating charts and escort boards on Pinterest, including individual envelopes for each guest and adorable wedding favours that double as name cards.
Overly long and boring wedding speeches
Wedding speeches are a chance to share heartfelt moments, but there’s a fine line between memorable and monotonous. Long-winded speeches can quickly lose the room, especially when they’re packed with inside jokes that leave most guests scratching their heads. And while it’s lovely for friends and family to want to say a few words, not everyone needs to grab the mic.
How to avoid: The key is to limit the number of people you invite to give a speech and remind them to keep things short and sweet, ideally no longer than five minutes. Traditionally, speeches are given by the maid of honour, best man, and parents of the couple, but if any of them aren’t comfortable with public speaking, don’t force them to!
Staggering the toasts throughout dinner is a great way to break things up and keep guests interested. Be sure to have a quick chat with your DJ or MC in advance to run through the order of speeches and timing; that way, you’ll avoid any surprises on the night.
A lack of good food and drink
Food is often the most talked-about element of any wedding, and it’s easy to see why. Guests expect to be well-fed, so when the menu features dishes they’ve never heard of —or worse, can’t enjoy— it can leave them feeling underwhelmed. Skimpy portions, low-quality options at a buffet, or a cocktail-style reception with just a few bites to graze on can quickly sour the mood. Weddings are celebrations, and no one wants to feel like they have to stop for fast food on the way home.
How to avoid: Choose your caterer wisely — read reviews, check out their socials, browse sample menus, make sure they cater to dietary/cultural requirements, and ask if they offer pre-wedding menu tastings. If possible, take the time to sample every item you plan to have on your wedding menu; that way, you’ll know the quality and taste of each dish before it gets served to your guests.
After spending hours on the dance floor, guests will no doubt have worked up an appetite, so it’s a good idea to serve some tasty late-night bites in addition to the main meal. About an hour before the reception ends, have your caterer bring out delicious handheld snacks like sliders, cheese toasties, pizza slices or loaded fries.
Waiting around for long periods of time
Few things test a wedding guest’s patience like long gaps between the ceremony and reception. Whether it’s hours waiting for portraits to wrap up, a far-flung venue that stretches the timeline, or an endless lull before the party starts, these delays can drain the excitement and leave guests checking the time
How to avoid: If possible, try to keep the gap between your ceremony and reception to a minimum. To save time, you could do a first look and get photos out of the way. Or, if that’s not your thing, another option is to get some of the bridal party photos done before the ceremony.
However, if you end up with two or more hours in between the ceremony and reception, it’s best not just to leave your guests hanging and organise a gathering at a nearby bar or restaurant. Guests can pay for their own food or drinks here, but it’s just nice for them to have a set place to hang out together while they wait for the reception to start.
The music
Music is the heartbeat of any wedding, and when it misses the mark, guests feel it. A poorly curated playlist or uninspired tunes can drain the energy faster than you can say ‘YMCA.’ Overplayed group dances and cheesy tracks like the Macarena might get a few laughs but often clear the floor for good. And while some love to bust a move, others prefer to sit it out—forcing reluctant dancers onto the floor or taking it personally when they don’t join in is a quick way to dampen the mood.
The key is striking a balance: keep it lively, skip the daggy tracks, and create a vibe that invites everyone to enjoy the moment in their own way.
How to avoid: To avoid a musical misstep, start with a great DJ or band who understands how to read the room and keep the energy alive. Share a list of must-play songs that reflect your style and are crowd-pleasers, but also give them the freedom to adapt on the fly. Skip overplayed group dances if they’re not your thing, and instead focus on tracks that appeal to a wide range of ages and tastes.
For non-dancers, create cosy lounge areas or fun alternatives like a photo booth so they can enjoy themselves without feeling pressured to hit the dance floor.
The jury’s out on these ones…
Some wedding features sit firmly in the grey area: loved by some, loathed by others. These divisive elements can spark conversation and controversy, leaving it up to personal taste and the vibe you want for your day. Whether they’re a hit or a miss often depends on the crowd and the context.
Here’s what you told us could go either way:
- Not receiving ‘thank you’ cards
- Sit down dinners
- Entry dances / first dance
- Having to do small talk with people at your table
- The bouquet toss
Splash or slash: What you should stop wasting your wedding budget on 
Pros and cons: Should I change my surname after I’m married? 
8 ideas to honour deceased loved ones in your wedding