Children at weddings: Real couples share their experiences

Are you still deciding whether your wedding will be a family-friendly celebration or an adults-only affair? Here’s what you need to know about having children at weddings, according to real couples.

Kids at weddings can be a delicate topic, and if you’re currently in the process of finalising your guest list, you might be wondering what the go is when it comes to inviting little ones. While we know this is an entirely personal decision, we thought we’d share some insights from real couples to help you make the right call for your wedding.

To get the low-down on having kids at your wedding, we took to Instagram to ask our lovely followers about their experiences, and the results did not disappoint. If you’re deciding whether or not to have children at your wedding or how to keep them entertained if you do, keep reading!

Why did you decide not to have children at your wedding?

• We wanted our guests to enjoy themselves and not have to keep an eye on their kids
• Parents with children generally leave early, potentially spoiling a real party vibe in the evening
• I don’t need kids running around and people worrying about them — there’s enough going on as it is!
• I’ve been to weddings with family’s kids, and we spent most of it trying to keep them quiet and entertained
• We’re hosting our wedding on a large property and don’t want anyone getting lost or hurt
• Not all people attending will be mindful with their kids, especially during formalities
• I will have only “close” kids. The rest = unnecessary extra costs
• We’re keeping our guest capacity limit pretty small, and this doesn’t allow for children

How did you keep children entertained at your wedding?

• We gave the kids cheap digital cameras and a list of photos they had to take — they loved it!
• We had a magician for the children at our wedding
• Arts and crafts table to “make gifts for the bride and groom”
• I set up a Polaroid table so the children could make their own scrapbook with photos of the wedding day
• We organised a dress-up area with fun costumes and props for the kids to play with
• Little activity boxes instead of bonbonnieres with colouring books, lolly bags, stickers and toys
• We’ve got a rhythmic gymnastics/ribbon performer coming to our wedding for the children’s entertainment
• We set up giant Jenga and a board game station
• Colouring table with personalised colouring books as wedding favours
• We hired three babysitters to keep them entertained; that way, the parents could have fun
• We had a DJ and a large grassed area in a beer garden — the kids had a ball!

What’s the etiquette of planning a kid-free wedding?

Whether or not you invite children to your wedding is entirely up to you and your partner; it is your day and should be exactly the way you want it. If you do choose not to have kids there, we suggest keeping these tips in mind for planning a child-free wedding while also being considerate of your loved ones:

• Let guests know early. By making the call as early as possible, you can let guests know on your invitations or website that your wedding day will be an adults-only event. This way, they have plenty of time to organise childcare arrangements.
• Communicate clearly and politely. We’d recommend including a polite “no kids” message on your wedding invitations or website to give your guests the heads up. Try to frame it in a positive light and be as respectful as possible — for example: “As much as we adore your little ones, we’ve decided to have an adults-only celebration for our wedding. We hope this gives you the opportunity to relax, let your hair down and enjoy the evening!”
• Be consistent. If you tell one guest you aren’t inviting children and then allow others to bring them, you might cause upset. We suggest communicating with guests openly and honestly if you’re planning to have immediate family members like nieces and nephews at your wedding by saying something like: “Our special day will be an adults-only celebration, with the exception of our immediate family members.”
• Consider special exceptions. Even if you’ve decided to have a child-free wedding, you’ll still need to think about making some exceptions. For example, it’s important to consider those with newborn babies who need to breastfeed or parents who will be travelling a long distance to attend your wedding.

For more tips on communicating with friends and family about having a child-free wedding, check out these expert advice answers from some of our amazing celebrants.