How can I tell my sister her kids aren't invited to our wedding?

Hi there. We don't want to have kids at our wedding, but I also don't want to offend my sister. I adore my nieces but we want a particular vibe at our wedding. Any suggestions?


Question Asked: 26/07/2022 Wedding Date: 10/02/2024

Most Helpful Response

Barbara Beames Friendly Celebrant

Melbourne, Yarra Valley Vineyards, Dandenong Ranges, Mornington Peninsular and Gippsland.

(88) Posted: 8/08/2022

Hi there, this is a good quetion and a bit of a tricky one.

You say that you dont't want kids at your wedding and you don't want to offend your sister.  And, you also say that you want a particular vibe at your wedding.

I have had this a lot lately, my couples want to go "retro wedding" like back to the future, what is old is new again.  By this I mean that a lot of my couples want to take a couple of things back that worked really well in the past.

One of the most popular new but old trends are that the guests are encouraged to be present totally at the wedding service so they can experience the words of the wedding as well as the beautiful sights they will see.  So, they are encouraged to turn their mobile phones off or on silent.

This way they are totally present watching a lovely couple make a beautiful commitment to each other, right in front of them.

This works extremely well.  They embrace it totally and at end of the service at the signing they are welcomed up to take as many photo's that they wish to.

Similiarly, years ago there were no children at a wedding ceremony.  This was for a number of reasons but mostly it was so the guests once again can be totally present at the wedding and the reception.  THey can experience the joy of the couple getting married and the reception with them. Barbara 0402065819 MELB.


Ted Johnson Marriage Celebrant

Brisbane, Gold Coast and Sunshine Coast

(12) Posted: 31/07/2022

Have you thought about adding a "children free event" with your wedding invitation?

(11) Posted: 27/07/2022

It's not offensive to want your wedding to be something different and most people will respect this. You could explain to your sister the particular vibe you want to achieve at your wedding.  Add, that you've chosen to make your special day for adults only to allow them to relax and enjoy themselves more fully. And let's face it. Any event of a formal nature is very boring for children especially if they have to remain seated for some time. It's best to let them stay at home and have fun.

Treasured Ceremonies

Melbourne, All Suburbs, Mornington Peninsula, Geelong, Yarra Valley

(17) Posted: 27/07/2022

Enlist her help. 
Tell her the decision to make this an adult only wedding reception and ask your sister to help your phrase the invitation.
Ask her advise on how you should go about it and involve her in the planning.
Ask her even to the extent of helping your explain to people, if they ask, there are to be no kids,

Wed Your Way - Katie Senethep

Brisbane & Surrounds

(3) Posted: 27/07/2022

Your wedding day should be about you and your partner and what you both want.

Bearing that in mind, you have a right to say you are keeping your special day as an adults-only occassion and accordingly, no children are invited. And you hope they can still make it. 

The key is to communicate this at the very beginning ideally when you send your invitations out. I hope this helps. 

Noosa Style Ceremonies

Sunshine Coast/Noosa and around Australia

(19) Posted: 27/07/2022

Great question - I'd go with the tried and true method of wanting your sister to celebrate with you guys without the distractions of her children.  You want your sister to let her hair down, dance and have fun all night - a night off the kids on this one off special occasion - best for everyone!

(6) Posted: 27/07/2022

"Hey sister... this is a bit awkward, but we've decided not to have kids at the wedding. You know I love the girls, but we'd really like you and [your significant other] to relax and enjoy yourselves for the night. Do you think you could organise a baby sitter? Thanks for understanding."

Inner Radiance

Sydney and Southern Highlands

(3) Posted: 27/07/2022

Hello Gorgeous one! 
it's a special concern with your special person of your life, your sister,  on your special occasion! 
All is depending on your reason of not having kids in a wedding and how old they are. 
I have suggested my bridal parties to employ them in your wedding ceremony time. For example,

being a flower girl, pageboy, ring bearer. In case they are  little ones, they can lead the bride in their

Toy car driving on the aisle with a placard saying- 'Here comes the Bride' or something similar. 
one little one can also lead Groom walking up the aisle saying' have you seen my Bride'.

mothers can walk with them in case. 

these little things not only create humour but also make them n parents proud. 
child minding by your sister can be arranged for reception time.

all the best. Not to stress. Sisters are special so are their children♥?

Kaye McGrath

Yarra Valley / Dandenong Ranges / Daylesford/ Macedon Ranges /Ballarat / Bendigo

(5) Posted: 27/07/2022

A lot of weddings now the children are not invited, as it adds to the cost of the reception, and the overall cost of your wedding. I don't believe it is personal. If you describe to your sister exactly what you are planning, I am sure she will understand.

Kaye McGrath 0407257282

Ryan Black

Gold Coast, Brisbane and Surrounding Areas

(16) Posted: 27/07/2022

This is a great question. Firstly, congratulations on deciding what you want on your special day!

Your wedding day is one of the few times in your life where you get to dictate exactly what you want. If you're wanting a certain vibe, and feel that it will be achieved without children attending, then that is all you need to say. Honesty is key. Tell her that you both want for everyone to be truly present throughout the ceremomy and feel that it can best be achieved without the possible distraction of children. Whether they be hers, or someone else's. 

I am an extremely proud parent, and absolutely love my kids, but trust me when I say that my wife and I love nothing more than going to a wedding kid free. It is an opportunity to let your hair down and have a great time. You may find that your sister will be more than supportive of your decision. 

I hope this helps. Happy planning and I wish you an awesome wedding day!

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