Combined Engagement/Housewarming gift etiquette?
Hi All, We have recently become engaged after 11yrs together and also purchased our first home with plans to do a combined engagement/housewarming. Our new apartment is small and we have purchased all the things we could possibly desire and all we really want is peoples company and at most libations. That's it! We are not secretly hoping to get gifts or money, we just want to celebrate with friends and family. However, we have already been getting questions about what gifts we want so my thinking was that if people really want to give us a gift that I would gently suggest a pot plant as I desire to make my large balcony into a green oasis and currently have zero plants. If people still decide to buy us a traditional gift, that is of course lovely and but not expected. My question, is this a polite thing to do and how would one go about doing it? We have lots of family and friends with limited means and I want them to be exited to celebrate with us and not have to worry about gifts
Question Asked: 18/03/2018
Wedding Date: 18/03/2018
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Answered by: 3 Experts
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Firstly congratulations and what a huge year for you both!
Gifts are a funny and sometimes touchy subject when it comes to engagements and weddings for some people even though they’re 99.9% going to be buying you one/a card with cash.
I always tell my clients to soften it with a poem and if you know your guest most will be happy they don’t have to spend hours thinking of a gift for you.
When it comes to “etiquette” we shouldn’t “ask” for anything or even mention gifts however times are changing therefore I always recommend positioning the request politely and worded well alongside of the invitation style you’ve chosen.
I recently had a client ask their guests for books instead of cards for their daughters Christening and another ask for vouchers or cash for their wedding. Your wedding! Your decision! Good luck!
Congratulations on your engagement and your new home! Etiquette does not allow to mention gifts on your invitations,but as you know, most guests will think about gifts anyway! That’s why clever people have come up with Wishing Well poems, etc. You can say something like “No presents please, only your presence.” on your housewarming/engagement invitations and if you’re still asked about gifts, it’s perfectly acceptable to say that you have been thinking of adding pot plants to your balcony... Enjoy your celebration!
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What a lovely question!
It might be worth mentioning in your invitations that no gift is necessary, but if they are insisting, to get something "green" for the balcony. This way, people can purchase whatever fits into their budget. You could also do a cute little drawing of a beautiful green oasis, or whatever you want your balcony to look like, so that people can envision it themselves and see what you're going for. I wouldn't consider this rude if I received it on an invitation. It sounds like something fun your guests can be part of!
If you don't want to mention it on the invitations at all, then the best thing to do is just answer honestly when they ask you. People really do like to give and it sounds like you have a lot of nice people who want to contribute to this special occasion.
All the best and let me know what you end up deciding on.
Cheers,
Lava @LavaStationery