Blair Fraser Celebrant

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Perth + All Surroundings  View Map
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7 days by appointment
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Expert Advice

As a wedding professional, Blair Fraser Celebrant offers expert advice to help couples plan their perfect day. Ask a question or read their expert advice.


Eloping without witnesses?

My partner and I are thinking of eloping but just with our children and no witnesses. Is this possible?

Hi

Sometimes the pressure and costs of a wedding get overwhelming, and folk just want to get it over with.  

If by eloping, you mean marrying without inviting all of your family and friends, of course you can.  The Wedding Registrar is a private and inexpensive way to get maried.  Alternatively, you could engage a celebrant to do your wedding in your home or at the local park, with no fuss.  You need two adults to witness the wedding, but your celebrant might be able to arrange that as well, if you want the wedding to be a secret until it is done.

Good luck to you.

Blair Fraser

What makes original wedding vows really stand out, in your opinion?

The first question to ask is why am I saying a wedding vow?

A wedding vow is a promise to your partner.  You don't have to say anything other that the first legal sentence, so if you decide to, do so for a reason.

Good wedding vows say something meaningful.  For example,  "I will love you when times are good, and I will be there for you when times are tough." This is the kind of thing couples, and your family and friends, remember.

Good wedding vows don't say things for the sake of filling in space.

How long should my vows be?

The first question to ask is why am I saying a wedding vow?

A wedding vow is a promise to your partner.  You don't have to say anything other that the first legal sentence, so if you decide to, do so for a reason.

Good wedding vows say something meaningful.  For example,  "I will love you when times are good, and I will be there for you when times are tough." This is the kind of thing couples, and your family and friends, remember.  

One sentence can be enough.

Any recommendations for online premarital counselling programs?

Before looking for a counselling service, you might want to clarify what type of counsel you need.

For example, for general council on the joys and jobs in marriage, the mainstream counselling providers are appropriate.

If the issue is specific, for example the issues surrounding FIFO work on the marriage and family, sometimes contacting the HR area of the employer can provide access to specialist counsellors.

When you contact a counselling service, make sure the fees are clear and all inclusive, and the time and number of sessions is clear.

Ask what type of therapy they use, what are their qualifications, and most importantly, what outcome do they aim to provide you with.

Good luck.

What's the usual order of events in a wedding ceremony?

Hello

In traditional weddings the ceremony starts with the bride being escorted by her father to the groom who is waiting.

Family and special friends are welcomed, and generally there is a set of promises like "Will have this woman to ....etc.

In all Australian weddings there is a warning that marriage is a solemn and binding relationship.

Then there are wedding vows, and the first line in these will always be the same promise, followed by personal vows, and normally the exchange of rings.

After that you are declared married, you have smoochy kiss, sign some papers, and everyone congratulates you.

Of course, there is more to it.  Good celebrants turn the normal into magic with romance and humour.

Good luck with your choice of celebrant, because that person is best able to lead you through the ceremony.

Cheers

Blair

What are some examples of unusual readings for weddings?

Looking for something a little different.

I did a wedding earlier this year where two guests did a skit of "Goodness Gracious Me". http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/g/goodnessgraciousme.shtml

It was something I had never seen before at a wedding, and caused great laughter.

Pick what YOU like, and don't let others shut you down.

Cheers

Blair Fraser

Simple and Romantic Weddings, Perth

will i regret skipping traditions and formalities in my wedding?

You almost definitely will regret not including some of the pomp and ceremony in your  wedding.  That is what weddings are for.  Alternatively, consider a registry wedding.  It is cheap and quick, and lets you get on with your reception.

what time is your favourite for a wedding ceremony

3 pm is almost always the best time for a wedding.

Groom doesn't want to make a speech, what do I do?

My Groom is terrified of making a speech at our wedding and has therefore refused to do so. And i highly doubt the best man will also. The maid of honor is also scared of public speaking but is happy to over come her fear to say a little something. Suggestions to even thing out?

Hi Tara

First of all, you are not alone.  Lots of grooms, and fathers of the bride, don't want to speak at a wedding.

If you intended to have a Master of Ceremonies, he or she can fill in for any speeches that need to be made.  Otherwise, ask someone else who is comfortable speaking.

There does not need to be any mention that anyone is, or is not, going to speak.

Enjoy the day.

cheers

Blair Fraser

my celebrant read the wrong reading at my wedding...is it wrong to ask for some money back?

There are 2 types of wedding celebrants. 

One type will provide a unique ceremony about you, and will send you a draft of that ceremony for you to check and confirm it is what you are happy with.  They will always offer, and often insist, on a rehearsal to ensure the ceremony holds no surprises.  They spend between 20 and 30 hours on your ceremony.  They generally charge about a thousand dollars, and are worth every cent for the wonderful way they start your wedding celebration.

Then there is the other type.  They will complete the forms and tell you how your wedding is to be run.  If they give you an opportunity to contribute to the ceremony, it will be limited. They discourage rehearsals.  There is ample ground for misunderstanding when the ceremony is neither sent in draft nor discussed at a rehearsal.  Generally they charge about five hundred dollars.

If you chose the first type, such an error would be extraordinary.  Was it clearly an error by the celebrant?  If so, I am sure the celebrant would consider a partial refund.

However, if you chose the latter, I would suggest your chance of any remedy is very slim.

Do celebrants come with marriage documents and how early can I file them after the wedding?

I was wondering if marriage celebrants usually come with their own marriage documents included in their package? Also, is there a timeframe of when I should file my marriage documents after the wedding? How early is too early/how long can I wait? Thanks!

Hi Cindy

Your celebrant will have all of the forms for your wedding and he or she is required to lodge them with the appropriate Registry of Births, Deaths, and Marriages (BDM) in your state. The only time you need to lodge a further document is if you want to apply for an official BDM issued Certificate of Marriage. There is no legal requirement to do so. However, this is a form you can use to show banks or the passport folk in order to have a change of name registered with them. In WA, you need to pay about $48 when you apply for this form.

Cheers

Blair Fraser

I know how important a celebrant is, but how much is too much?

One celebrant I like charges $1200, but I know a lot of celebrants charge half of that. Why is there such a difference? Is it comparable to music in that it's a "taste" thing? Or a talent thing? It's not like I can "taste test" like a cake or listen to a song.. it's hard to justify because by the time you get the service, you've LONG paid and if you're disappointed it's too late! Advice please!

The answer is to have a coffee with a person you are considering engaging.

If you laugh over the coffee, you will have humour in your ceremony.

If you feel warmly about how some things are said, you will feel warmly in the ceremony.

And if it doesn't work out, it only cost you a coffee.

Decide if you want that person, and then consider whether the ceremony being brilliant is worth as much as say the wedding cake or the flowers or the cars. If it is worth more than that, then pay for it. If you don't think so, get a cheap celebrant.

Why do you have to kiss at the wedding ceremony?

Does it actually serve a purpose or is it just a thing people do...?

Kissing is the ultimate of intimate contact, be it sexual or familial or for friends. In a wedding it is a demonstration of love and sexual attraction, and an expression of the joy of the culmination of the ceremony.

It might not be essential, but it would be pretty unusual for 2 folk to want to be married, and not want to celebrate the wedding with a kiss.

How does one handle someone bringing a baby to a kids-free wedding?

I didn't know what category to put this in, but my partner and I opted for a totally child-free wedding however we have a guest who has simply decided her grandchild ( a 23week baby) will be coming along - without asking anyone! The parents are invited to the wedding but only one set of grandparents. I know the other set is available to babysit (and would be delighted to) but the guest is simply insisting that the baby will just come along (and note - it's not the mother insisting, it's the grandmother). How do I have a conversation with her or at least my M-I-L (it's her cousin) to let her know that it is our wish NOT to have children attend - and there are other couples that are respecting these wishes! I think it's rude both to us and those guests that have respected our wish to simply assume that this is ok.

Hi Tam

I would suggest that you contact the parents of the bub and let them know that all children, including theirs is excluded. The child is their responsibility, and unless they are very unusual folk, they will deal with it.

I am unsure if I want to change my last name when I get Married? Is there anything I should consider

My Fiancé & I are getting Married in early 2018 & he wants me to change my last name to his. I'm not sure if I want to. Is there something I can/should do to make this decision easier?

Hi Kate

The answer is just how you feel about it. Don't worry about the law or what anyone else says. If you like the notion of taking your husbands name, just do it. Has your groom thought about taking your name?

cheers

Blair

How long would I require a celebrant for?

Generally, when couples book a celebrant how long do they book them for?

Hi Lucy

You don't book a celebrant for any time. The celebrant will tell you how long they need.

Celebrants generally charge a fee, and are not paid by the hour.

cheers

Blair Fraser

Simple and romantic Weddings

How can I make an uneven bridal party work?

We will have 3 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen. Particularly for the first dance, usually bridal party take their partners and join bride and groom on the dancefloor but we have an uneven number so they can't join together as couples....

Well, there are 2 issues here.

Firstly, the look of the ceremony where there is an uneven balance of attendants for the Bride and Groom. If there is an imbalance of only one extra groomsman, that will not be noticeable during the ceremony. However, after the bride and groom have been announced as Mr and Mrs, and are walking down the aisle, it is normal for pairs of attendants, one pair at a time, to follow the bride and groom. This can't happen with an uneven number. Normally the last attendant walks alone. It does not look strange, particularly if the attendant has a smile for the walk.

If there is an imbalance of 2 groomsmen or bridesmaids, sometimes an even split of people, irrespective of the gender is nice while the ceremony progresses. Remember to have the ring bearer closest. However, I have officiated a number of weddings with imbalance of numbers, and it has not been an issue. The walk leaving the ceremony could have both walking together (probably without hand on forearm).

As far as the bridal waltz, the tradition is for parents of the bride and groom to follow the married couple. This is then followed by the rest of the bridal party. Where there is an imbalance of numbers here, one of the men can ask his girlfriend or wife to dance. Honestly, by the time the fourth groomsman enters the dance floor, the guests will be watching the bride and groom exclusively.

Good luck.



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