Wedding seating plan: 5 dos and don’ts
Designing your wedding seat plan is like a high-stakes game of Tetris. One that involves family politics, friend groups and a touch of psychology. Maybe it’s more Monopoly than Tetris!
A wedding seating plan can stress out the most chilled of couples. It’s one of those behind-the-scenes tasks that seems simple until you’re knee-deep in old Facebook posts trying to remember who once had a failed date with whom. That reminds me, did you know we’ve put together a playlist for this very occasion?
Wedding seating plan is Tetris meets Monopoly meets group therapy. Source: Brett Scapin.
While it can be a bit overwhelming, a good seating plan helps your reception run smoothly and makes your guests feel welcome, comfortable, and ready to celebrate. Here are some common seating plan mistakes to avoid, and how to create a setup that brings the good vibes without the stress.
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Our top 5 dos and don’ts when it comes to the wedding seating plan.
Sitting exes next to each other (just don’t do it!)
As much as they might say over and over again that they’re “totally fine”, it only takes a new partner or one too many champagnes for it to explode. So, it’s just not worth the risk. You don’t need to make them dramatically far apart, but a little space goes a long way.
Seating ex-partners next to or directly across from each other can lead to unnecessary tension, awkwardness, or at the very least, a not-so-fun experience for them and everyone at the table. If you know both parties are attending, seat them at different tables where they won’t be forced into small talk over the canapés. Your wedding should be a celebration, not a surprise reunion.
Don’t know who to invite? We got you! Here’s a quiz.
Don’t: Ignore family dynamics (your wedding isn’t group therapy)
Every family has its quirks. Some families have long-standing feuds. Before finalising your plan, take the time to gently (and privately) check in with parents, siblings, or close relatives to flag any tricky dynamics. Seating two relatives with a history of conflict too close together could create tension that overshadows your special day. It doesn’t mean taking sides; it just means being strategic for the sake of peace and good energy.
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Your wedding seating plan, your way! Source: Verandah House Country Estate.
A bit of family politics, but most it’s your choice. Source: Verandah House Country Estate.
Blind date: friend series! Who’s going to get along?
While it’s tempting to seat guests based on convenience or proximity (like filling empty chairs here and there), it’s much better to think about personalities. Who would genuinely enjoy each other’s company? Maybe your college roommate and your cousin both love hiking or work in similar industries. Voila: instant connection! A thoughtful table mix encourages conversation, laughter, and great memories.
Who knows who?
A simple but effective strategy is to group guests based on how they know you: high school friends, uni mates, colleagues, family friends, etc. People tend to feel more comfortable when they’re seated with others they know or can easily relate to. You don’t need to isolate every group, but starting with this framework makes the planning more manageable and guests less likely to feel awkward or out of place.
Doesn’t matter in the end – I’ll meet you on the dancefloor! Source: Sean Cummins Photography.
It’s not about being perfect
At some point in this emotional Tetris, you’ll hit a wall. It’s not about being perfect, and your wedding isn’t the time for people to pull out all the skeletons – they can stay in the closet. Is it possible to make everyone happy? Not always, but it’s important that you are happy! Don’t let the seating chart become a source of stress or steal the joy from planning your celebration. Most people will be too busy enjoying the food, drinks, and dancing to notice where they’re sitting. As long as you’ve been considerate, your guests will appreciate the effort. It’s your wedding – it’s for you and your partner to enjoy.
Your seating plan doesn’t need to be perfect to be successful. Focus on creating a relaxed, friendly atmosphere where everyone can have a good time, and trust that the rest will fall into place.
And remember, the dancefloor is our great equaliser – so no matter where they started the night, everyone will end up here anyway, and there’s therapy in singing ABBA at the top of your lungs.
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