Marriage is tricky, there’s no doubt about it. There are definitely times where you may want to go and blab about every little detail or issue to all of your friends. Or even put it in a passive aggressive IG story. But here are five examples of when you should reconsider oversharing and consider keeping your issues between your spouse and yourself.
Every little fight or disagreement:
If you tell your family and friends every time your partner says something mildly insensitive or every time you have a minor disagreement, they may start to wonder why you got married in the first place. It’s one thing to vent, but don’t overshare all of the negative stuff and forget all of the positives.
Money issues and salaries:
It’s better to keep things like salaries to yourself if possible. If you earn more or less than your partner or there are any cash flow issues between you, your friends don’t need to know.
An affair (if you’ve decided to stay):
No one wants to think about this, but the truth is, many couples go through it at some point or another. Whether it’s physical, emotional or virtual – at some point your partner might do something sketchy that you consider cheating. Especially in today’s world of social media, apps and accessible communications with all sorts of people, it’s good to have a clear understanding going into your marriage or relationship about what you consider cheating. If you do go through something like this with your partner, it makes sense to want to vent to your friends, but think hard before telling them if you’ve decided to stay, as they may resent your partner and find it harder to forgive, which is already going to be very difficult for you! It may be simpler to keep this one to yourself and work through it with your partner.
Every detail of your intimate lives:
What your partner and you do behind closed doors… should probably stay there. Unless you’d be okay with your partner sharing these details with their friends, then you probably should keep your lips zipped when it comes to anything R rated.
Your partners past:
If your partner has a shady past of unsavoury activities but has been honest with you, moved on and improved their life for the better – then it simply isn’t relevant or worth telling your friends about! Unless you want your friends to potentially judge your spouse, then maybe keep this one to yourself. Of course, we all have that one friend we can tell anything to, and that’s fine, but your wider circle probably doesn’t need to know, and your spouse will probably appreciate the option of telling them or not at their own leisure.
Of course, if you feel the need to lean on someone to talk to – you always should. But perhaps consider chatting directly with your partner if you need someone to discuss things with. Or if you still feel that you need someone else, a therapist is always a good option that won’t break your partners’ trust.