How to tell your squad who made it as bridesmaid?

You’ve said yes to the love of your life, now it’s time for your best girls to say yes to you. But how exactly do you break the news, and let’s be honest, the casting, of your bridesmaid lineup without it feeling like a high-stakes episode of The Bachelor: Friendship Edition? The key is to make it fun, personal, and drama-free. Here’s how to do it right and actually enjoy the moment.

Step 1: Finalise your dream team (before you announce it)

Before you go ordering matching robes or tagging anyone in a “future bridesmaids” TikTok, take a minute to map it out. Ask yourself: who are the people who calm you down, make you laugh, and will actually show up when things get chaotic?

You don’t need to include every person you’ve ever loved. This isn’t a reunion tour. Think quality over quantity. You’ll want a mix of practical energy (someone who’ll have a sewing kit on hand), emotional stability (someone who’ll talk you down when the florist ghosts you), and good vibes (someone who can get the dance floor started).

And yes, sometimes that means leaving out a friend or cousin who might expect to be included. That’s okay. Your wedding isn’t a group project. It’s a celebration. Pick the people who make you feel the most like you.

Step 2: Make it a moment, not a mass announcement

This isn’t the time for a group text. How you tell them matters. The more personal, the better.

If your friends live nearby, gather them for a brunch or a backyard picnic. Bring mimosas, pastries, and a sense of occasion. If you’re all scattered across cities or continents, plan a FaceTime night with cocktails and matching PJ vibes.

And if you’ve got that one friend who hates surprises, give her a heads-up so she doesn’t join thinking it’s a casual catch-up only to find out she’s live on Zoom in a bridesmaid reveal. Traumatising.

Step 3: The bridesmaid proposal (that doesn’t feel like a corporate gift box)

We’ve all seen the hyper-curated boxes on Instagram. Rose gold fonts, custom candles, mini bottles of prosecco, enough confetti to choke a dolphin. But honestly, the best bridesmaid asks are the ones that feel real.

That might look like:

• A handwritten card
• A mini bottle of their favourite drink with a personalised tag
• A framed photo of the two of you at some disastrous early-2000s party
• Or, if you’re not a gift person, a coffee date, a laugh, and a simple, “I couldn’t do this without you.”

The only rule? Don’t make it generic. These people know you inside out. If it feels like something you copied off Pinterest, it’ll ring hollow.

Step 4: Handle the “non-bridesmaid” situation gracefully

Here’s the tricky bit. Weddings are emotional, and people can surprise you. If you’re not asking someone who might expect to be asked, say a close friend from uni or your sister-in-law, be kind and transparent if it comes up.

Keep it simple: “I had to keep things small, and I thought about it a lot. I love you and you’re still a huge part of my life.” Then move on. Most people will understand. Those who don’t? That’s not your emotional labour to manage right now.

Don’t feel the need to over-justify it. You’re allowed to curate your own experience. Not every friend fits every chapter, and that doesn’t make anyone the villain.

Step 5: Celebrate the “YES!”

Once you’ve asked, celebrate the fact that your team said yes. You could throw a little get-together, or just start a group chat with the name “Bridal Babes” (or something less cursed).

Use this moment to set the tone for the months ahead. A little message like, “I’m so grateful to have you with me, and I promise to keep this as fun and drama-free as possible” goes a long way.

Pro tip: if you’re the first in the group to get married, be mindful that not everyone knows the etiquette. Set expectations early about who’s helping with what, what kind of energy you’re hoping for, and how to split costs. Communication now means fewer tears later.

Step 6: Remember what it’s actually about

It’s easy to get caught up in the aesthetic: the matching robes, the custom champagne flutes, the perfectly curated “bridesmaid reveal” photos. But your bridesmaids aren’t props. They’re your people.

They’ll zip your dress, fix your eyeliner, hide your snacks in their clutch, and say the exact right thing when your nerves start to show. They’re the ones who’ll look at you right before you walk down the aisle and remind you to breathe.

So whether you do a big surprise box or a quiet heart-to-heart, just make it about love, gratitude, and shared excitement. These women have seen you through every messy, beautiful, ridiculous phase of your life, and now they get front-row seats to your next one.

Once the champagne corks have popped and the group chat’s blowing up with heart emojis, take a second to soak it in. These are your people, the ones who’ll keep you laughing through the planning chaos and hand you tissues right before you walk down the aisle. The adventure officially begins.