“Behind every cute girl on Instagram, there’s a guy like me – and a brick wall.” They’re the forlorn words of Jeff, one of a growing number of ‘Instagram Husbands’ whose only job is “to make her look good.”
And, while more than a few of us can probably relate – either because we have an Instagram Husband/Wife – or because we are one, ‘Jeff’ isn’t real, he’s just one of a group of comedians featured in an all-too-true video parody called Instagram Husband, which is currently doing the rounds online – and, of course, is getting LOTS of likes, shares and regrams!
Still unsure if you’re an Instagram Husband? Here are the top signs:
1. Are you the designated photographer for your Instagram Wife?
2. Do you take more pictures with your Instagram Wife than you would take on your own?
3. Is your photo thumb calloused and/or blackened with wear?
4. Have you ever been yelled at for presuming you should only take one, maybe two, pictures of a particular pose?
5. Do you suffer from uncontrollable bodily twitches when you hear any mention of the words: selfie, brick wall, puppy, succulent, the food has arrived, shoes, it’s snowing out, I don’t look good in this one, one more, crema, sunset, latte?
6. Have you ever taken pictures of your Instagram Wife while she pretended to sleep peacefully?
What type of music are you having? (If more than one, choose the most predominant)
7. Have you ever thought to yourself when looking at an Instagram photo you took, “Only I know the rage and venom that was directed at me immediately before and after this seemingly happy photo was taken.”?
8. Have you ever said, “I can’t take this anymore, it’s me or your Instagram followers, Katelyn!”? Have you ever been saddened by the length of time she took to answer, “Hashtag-followers, Bradley. I choose my followers.”?
9. Have you stood on more railroad tracks since meeting your Instagram Wife than in the previous years of your life combined?
10. Do you need help?
The site explains how much of an Instagram Husband you are based on the following scores:
1-3 You are an Instagram Friend;
4-6 You are an Instagram Boyfriend;
7-8 You are an Instagram Fiance;
9-10 You are an Instagram Husband;
11-12 You are not great at counting
Thankfully, for those who have been stricken as an Instagram Husband, help is out there. The site provides a step-by-step guide to standing up for yourself and being removed from photographer duties.
If all else fails, the site suggests distracting her with a photo-worthy plate of quinoa on the ground and running! She can take the photo herself.
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