Is it alright to have a daddy-daughter dance and then skip mother-son dance though mother wanted it?

Bride and dad had their emotional dance as I, the groom’s mother, was waiting beside the dance floor for my turn with my son. Father of the bride spoke and then said “Let’s Dance” to the guests. I had no idea there would not be a mother-son dance. I was devastated. It was very difficult for me to keep my composure for the rest of the evening. It was not a mistake according to the wedding planner and neither the bride nor her parents said they were sorry for hurting me. When my son learned I was hurt, he told me he didn’t know it would upset me so much and we could go on the dance floor now to dance. Let me also clarify that I was very generous to the couple as far as paying tens of thousands of dollars for the seated private club Rehearsal Dinner for 80+ and open bar Welcome Party at same venue, when I don’t even live in that city. I bought my son’s tux, I shared the Rehearsal Dinner flowers, and I gave my son money to help with expenses. Am I wrong to feel very hurt?

Question Asked: 31/01/2019 Wedding Date: 9/08/2018


Easy Weddings Expert

I think it's okay and fair to be hurt. Of course, you weren't to know it wouldn't happen. But also, the wedding planner could have arranged it to happen afterward if there was a mistake or error on the bride's fathers part. That is the wedding planners job, after all, to ensure everything goes to plan. In cases like this, we highly recommend having a professional MC who can ensure all of the formalities and wishes of the couple are met at the reception. It is tough but it's one of those things that can't be repeated, so there is no use holding onto your hurt or resentment, and quite frankly it's best to let it go, otherwise it'll affect your relationship with your son's wife, and therefore your relationship with your son. Your generosity for the wedding shouldn't be with strings attached unless discussed prior to the wedding and accepted by the bride and groom.

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