When's the best time to ask your wedding party to be in your wedding party?


Question Asked: 28/03/2023

Wedding Date: 3/11/2024

Most Helpful Response

Treasured Ceremonies

(16) · Byron Bay to Ballina , North Coast NSW and Gold Coast QLD

Posted: 5/05/2023

As soon as you have decided on the venue and date or sooner if you are planning way ahead.
Your wedding party want to be involved and will be looking forward to being in your wedding party
Plus you want to maximise your chance that they will be available and not miss that day,
Some companies require up to 18 months notice of leave and many people plan holidays well ahead of time.
By giving them sufficient time you reduce the anxiety for yourself of missing out.

Answered by: 11 Experts

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Ceremonies by Rosemarie

(20) · Perth

Posted: 30/03/2023

Personally, I would be asking my bridal party as soon as I had set the date. This gives everyone a chance to clear the date. Surprising them closer to the day may lead to clashes with other commitments they may have and can lead to your disappointment.

Hooked On Love

(5) · Sydney based ,but servicing New South Wales and beyond ...

Posted: 29/03/2023

First of all, congratulations to you both and hope you embrace this very special time.:-)  The answer to the question is - this your celebration and basically when you are both ready. Prioritise what you need to do initially. Here is a suggested list

1. Enjoy being engaged & celebrate

2. Decide on your date , location , CELEBRANT :-) , style & budget

3. Make the asking special - maybe in private ,e.g. dinner , drinks , etc. Explain why they are chosen and what would be involved  & expectations .

4. Enough notice particularly for destination weddings - are they available , costs involved,etc.

5. These people are your ' nearest and dearest ' - embrace that connection.

     Best wishes to you both :-)

Romance Meets Rhi

(0) · Mackay, Whitsundays & Surrounding Areas

Posted: 29/03/2023

Of course this one will differ for every couple.

My suggestion would be to wait till the year of your wedding. And around 6-9 months out minimum  - giving your bridesmaids enough time to get organised to find dresses etc. 

I know it's also super hard not to just get so excited that you want them all to know, so if it feels right to ask the mintue you get engaged - you do you boo.

Married by Robyn

(0) · Sunshine Coast / Noosa / Townsville / Greater Brisbane

Posted: 29/03/2023

I think this it's different for every couple, but I would suggest it would be best to wait until you both know who you want to be beside you on the big day. Also, knowing when & where your wedding is going to be would be helpful.  That way, the people you are going to ask can say yes, knowing they are available on that date, and can afford it, should there be travel costs involved. 

i hope this helps. 


Susie Figgis Byron Celebrant

(13) · Byron Bay | Far North Coast

Posted: 29/03/2023

Its a special invitation, so I'd say to choose a moment that feels special, and do the same with your ring bearers and witnesses.

I also suggest having a conversation around what it means for you to be asking these people to be your "bridal party".  What are you offering and what are your expectations of them?  For example make sure your Maid of honour knows that she will need to help with your dress when you arrive down the isle, and perhaps again when you turn to face your fiance mid way throught your cermony. (It's amazing how many brideamaides / MOH's aren't prepared or pre-warned that they need to do this!)

Another cool idea that lots of my couples like these days is to actually offer the bridal party a chance to sit down 1/2 way through the cermony so thay can also see and experience your faces while you are saying yoru Vows. This just involves creating a few reserved signs so they can have good viewing when they are invited to take a seat (usually 2nd row).

Susie Figgis 

Byro Marriage Celebrant 

0431 482 008 

A Life Celebrant - Lou Szymkow

(8) · South Coast NSW

Posted: 29/03/2023

Those in your wedding party are usually your closest and dearest confidantes' who will share in your joy.

The more advanced the notice the better but you must first decide (even if tentatively) on the date, location, budget, and style.

Choosing to say 'yes' to being in a wedding party will usually create a bond that lasts forever but you have to be certain that they will not only support your choices but that they are available and capable. Choose wisely and carefully.

Be sure that those chosen have your genuine interest at heart as well as the ability, and financial stability to assist you in your planning as well as on the day.

Ask each in private and in person, and explain why they have been chosen while outlining what you expect of them but don't be offended if they take time to respond or even decline for very personal reasons. 

Most of the wedding party's work for the wedding is done well before the date of the ceremony but you and they have to be certain that they will be available and that you can all work together in your interest. They need to be comfortable and supportive of your choices just as you need to be comfortable with their advice. 

Some may feel that your relationship will change forever, while others might want to live out their dream wedding, vicariously through yours, or just want to test their own choices & ideas. 

Some may fear a perceived financial burden and so be clear about what you will be paying for and what they must contribute. e.g you might want all to wear a certain colour or garment that may cost between $100 and $5000 but who will pay for it?

You might expect a bridal shower, a weekend retreat, and a few parties along the way but someone on a limited budget might find that challenging. As a Celebrant, I find that the wedding party member who has recently married will be the one who wishes to make his/her presence and knowledge known whether it is wanted or not. 

Ceremonies by Rosie

(0) · Cairns and surrounding areas

Posted: 29/03/2023

Hi Bride to be. 

Congratulations! Once you and your fiance have agreed on a date, venue and the wedding party members I would inform them that they have the pleasure of having an important and fun role in your wedding. Members of the wedding party may require to put in leave for work, need to organise child minding, pet sitters, or are traveling a great distance to be at your wedding and need to pay for flights, accomodation ect... 

Good luck bride to be xx 

Steve King - Celebrant

(14) · Melbourne & Surrounding Areas

Posted: 29/03/2023

Oh, now that's a good question, while it's exciting to start planning your wedding right after getting engaged, it's best to wait for just a little while (but not too long) before asking your wedding party to be a part of your special day. Plan your wedding first.

If you're planning a destination wedding or require your wedding party to wear specific attire, it's imperative to give them plenty of notice so they can make travel arrangements and order their attire.

It's crucial to give them plenty of notice, so they have time to plan accordingly. Asking someone to be in your wedding party is a big deal, and it's essential to do it with the right kind of energy and enthusiasm. Remember, your wedding party is there to celebrate your love and make your day special, so it's essential to ask them with love, respect, and enthusiasm.

Rubie Weddings

(1) · Sydney and surrounding areas and Central Coast

Posted: 28/03/2023

Depending on the style of your wedding, and of course - who you are choosing, the best time to ask someone to be in your wedding party is typically about 6-8 months before the wedding. This gives your potential wedding party members enough time to plan and prepare for the role, including ordering any necessary attire, arranging travel plans, and making any necessary arrangements for the wedding day.

Of course as I mentioned, it all depends on your wedding and those who will be in the bridal party. As another already said, any time you feel ready - also works! 

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