How should I let a friend know that she's not included in my bridal party?

I think that you just have to ask her for a coffee perhaps and sit down and just explain that you can only have a very small and intimate wedding and you just couldn't invite everyone you wanted......perhaps just say that you have to explain this to all friends concerned.......you will feel better about it once you get it out of the way.

Based on say, the groom only wanted three groomsmen, so I could not have all the people I wanted for bridesmaids and would be honoured if you could do a reading at the wedding.

Hi, You poor thing not an easy situation so I would let her know that you need to have a face to face difficult conversation with her. Chances are that she will ask what it's about and I would say something like, please (her name) this is hard enough let's meet for coffee as soon as you're available. By making is serious and somewhat urgent, most people will realise that it isn't going to be good news. I would then start the conversation by being upfront and a little upset saying something like, (Her name) this is really difficult for me and I hope that it won't affect our friendship but unfortunately I won't be able to invite you to our wedding. It will be as you have said, super intimate but you would like to have a drink with her to celebrate just the two of you or three if you would like your partner to be there. I would emphasis that you hope that she understands and will support your very difficult decision. Hope this helps you. Kind regards Tania

May be let her know that there is something she could do to help the bride to prepare for the big day, anyway if she is a good friend she will understand that money doesn't groe on trees.

Yes, if you have good reasons why, then explain them to her. Have you thought of another task which she could do ? such as ring bearing, witness, reading a passage (secular or non-secular), ushering (truly)

Mario

Hi, the first thing you need to remember and acknowledge is that this is your wedding not your friends. You have said that you haven't been close for years which immediately gives you an out, particularly if as you say the wedding day is going to be a small intimate affair. Honesty is the best policy in this situation. Take her for a coffee or a drink (your preference) and explain the situation that although you value her long time friendship but because you haven't been close in recent times you couldn't include her in the bridal party and or on the guest list. The day is about what you and your fiancé want not about what your friends thinks or feels. Before you talk to her; look at your life and ask yourself if she will be a close friend of yours in ten years time. If the answer is yes, then find another role for her, eg: looking after the Inge, presenting a reading or as the witness. If you don't see her as part of your life in ten years then you have lost nothing but retained your honesty and integrity. Regards Desmon

Honesty is always the best policy, tell her how many bridesmaids you will be having, explain that owing to the fact you are limited by family restrictions/financial reasons etc, it is just not possible. Also let her know you are surprised by her expectation, because the two of you never ever discussed her being a bridesmaid.

Explain to your friend, that the decision has not been easy for you but.......... you must have your sister, grooms sister, Auntie Flo or whomever for whatever reasons. Tell her you love her and perhaps she could be involved in another way. Could this girl friend be your witness, could she do a reading, could she make a speech at the reception? Plenty of ways of including other people in your wedding day.

This is not an uncommon dilemma, and when asked "what do I do" my reply would be to be honest! You know your friend, albeit a few years have passed since you were closer. Explain the situation.. small.. intimate... budget to adhere to etc. Maybe ask her to come along to a girls afternoon tea party! drinks, with others that are not coming to the wedding. This way it will include all others that as you say have picked up on the situation. Explaining face to face you will be able judge her reaction, however it will also let your friend know that you care enough to talk the issue through. Best wishes, enjoy your wedding day, remembering after all it is your day!

Hello. A very sensitive area for you to tackle. A catchup coffee (with cake perhaps) to explain the reasons or your choice to have a small intimate wedding may be a way to go. best luck cheers. Lee Halligan Registered Celebrant