Who is in charge of the hens party?

I was asked to be a bridesmaid at my cousins wedding at the same time two others were asked and one was asked to be the MOH. I have just had messages from the MOH detailing every aspect of the Hens Party, she has planned everything and as far as I can tell not asked for any input from any of the rest of us, is this normal? I feel like, as a Bridesmaid I should also have at least been asked for ideas or opinions and not just been told the details like any other guest?!

Question Asked: 9/01/2019

Wedding Date: 9/08/2018

Most Helpful Response

The Dancing Hen

(12) · Victoria Wide

Posted: 11/01/2019


Oh it can be very tricky! At the end of the day, as long as it in line with what the bride to be would like (and considerate of other people's budgets too!) that is the main thing. It's very easy to overlook this, but it should be the perfect day for her and of course the aim is for it to be a wonderful day for you all.

Even though traditionally the Maid of Honor ends up being the one booking it all in etc, nowadays there tends to be more of a group discussion leading up to decision making to ensure everyone is considered. It's nice to share the tasks and also as a result share the stress!!! 

If you are feeling uncomfortable about this, I think it is worth mentioning earlier rather than later and discuss it openly. They may have thought they were just being helpful and also potentially just over excited by everything, which can easily happen so approach it as tactfully and 'friendly' as possible! They also may be a natural 'leader' so just approach as best you can. 

At the end of the day you all want it to be special, so as long as that focus is maintained it should all work out!!! 

I hope it all works out for you all!


Answered by: 3 Experts

Sort by:

Blissrising Tantric Hens Parties

(1) · Sydney

Posted: 10/01/2019

Hi ?,

From what I have seen and being told there is usually more that one person organising the Hens Party.  If you wish to be included in the organisation of the Hens Party you simply need to say to the Maid of Honour that you wish to be included.  This question is very personal and needs to be communicated clearly.  

Sometimes people with strong personalities tend to take over, so be strong and say you wish to be included.

I hope that all works out for you and eveyone involved and that your Hens Party is everything you wish it to be.

And if I can also be included in the Hens Party evening and host our workshop for you, I am happy to be part of your Hens Party.

Good luck with everything,

Taranga from blissrisng Tantra Hens Party.

Pineapple Tours

(1) · Australia Wide, Gold Coast, Brisbane, Byron Bay, Mt Tamborine

Posted: 10/01/2019

Generally the Maid of Honour will organise the booking with us and sometimes even the bride herself.

Each group has different needs so we generally tailor the tours to suit the group.

If you would like to be more involved I would suggest talking to the Maid of Honour and suggesting some of your ideas and see if she could include them into her plan.

I would really try to avoid conflict in this situation as the Bride has chosen this person to make these decisions so I would approach it with an offer to help rather than disputing the activities that she has planned.

I found this when I did a quick search for' Maid of Honour Duties'

What Does a Maid of Honour Really Do?

  • The maid of honour helps the bride with wedding planning, making decisions and navigating family difficulties and other stresses.
  • A maid of honour is responsible for being the head of the bridesmaids, keeping them organized.
  • Typically, the maid of honour leads the bridesmaids in planning a bridal shower and often a bachelorette party.
  • On the day of the wedding, a maid of honour helps the bride get dressed and stay calm.
  • Often, the maid of honour makes a toast or a speech at either the wedding or the rehearsal dinner.
  • Couples getting legally married frequently ask the maid of honour to be one of the signers of the marriage license.
  • Perhaps most importantly, the maid of honour is a good listener and has a strong shoulder for the bride to lean on.

Easy Weddings Expert

This is a tricky one! It really depends. If you and the other bridesmaids are friends it makes sense to collaborate on the hens party, but generally speaking the MOH would lead the way. It would be nice to ask for input from the other bridesmaids as you are all close friends or family of the bride, but there is no hard and fast rule.

Didn't find what you were looking for? Ask your own question and we'll have our experts answer it.

Ask a question