While we all wait eagerly to see if the Bachelor, or the Honey Badgelor, (as I like to call him) picks Britt or Sophie, I thought it would be a little bit of fun to consider what a wedding with the man Nick Cummins himself would actually be like. Warning: Article contains copious amounts of Aussie slang.
All those TV promo’s of Nick holding a ginormous engagement ring must have got me thinking because I am currently planning the wedding of Nick Badger’s dreams. Here’s what I think would make the perfect wedding for Nick and his potential bride-to-be.
A cool celebrant:
We imagine Nick choosing a cool, young and fun celebrant, someone who he can have a good ol’ yarn to, someone light hearted! Nick ought to take a look here.
Vows not even an expert linguist could translate:
Even an expert wouldn’t be able to untangle the vows of Mr Nick Cummins. I have a feeling he’s working on a whole new language or at least adding some phrases to the dictionary, much like William Shakespeare did. We imagine Nick’s vows being far from short and sweet and much more long and confusing…
A luxurious venue with impeccable styling:
Nick has a bit of dosh in his pocket and there’s no doubt that he’ll be splashing out on this wedding – being in the limelight and all! He will likely hold his wedding at a luxurious venue in Sydney (where he is currently based), somewhere along the water no doubt, as he seems to love a bit of nature.
A huge bridal party:
Or a huge bucks night… one or the other! We imagine as Nick has quite the group of friends that he will have a few of them stand by his side on the day, including his brother, of course. Otherwise, he will invite all of the boys for a huge bucks party, and just stick with his bro as his best man.
More puns and tongue twisters in the speeches than any wedding you’ve seen before:
Can you imagine a wedding with a speech from both Nick Badger and also his old man? I imagine there may need to be that music like when someone talks for too long at the Oscars at the ready… just in case…
Lots of booze:
Nick loves a tipple. The grog will be flowing freely at Nick’s wedding, whether he marries Soph, Britt, Brooke makes a surprise return or he does end up with alleged ex-gf Cassie Wood. Only time will tell. Maybe it’s none of them and he has another lucky lady coming into his future!
An epic grazing table:
Bachie loves a date with some grapes, cheese and biccies, that’s for sure. We imagine a massive grazing table with all of the trimmings at his wedding so all of his guests can get into the delicious grub.
Plenty of terrible dancing:
He might be great on his feet in other ways, but we noticed that Bachie boy has some work to do on the ol’ dancing skills. Whether you think back to his single date ballet dancing with Emily or more recently, his slow dancing with Britt, he left a little to be desired in a dancing partner. He makes up for it in other athletic skills though!
Whoever Nick chooses, we wish him all the luck in the world. Who do you hope he ends up with? Leave a comment for us below.
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