Are destination weddings selfish?

Let’s be honest: few wedding topics stir the pot like destination weddings. The question no one really wants to ask: Are they… kind of selfish? It’s a tricky one, because it touches on something a lot of people feel but rarely say out loud: weddings stopped being just about the couple a long time ago.

The emotional currency of a wedding

Once upon a time, weddings were local. Hosted in the backyard or the local hall. Your aunt did the flowers, your uncle poured the wine, and everyone chipped in.

These days? It’s a ceremony on a clifftop in Uluwatu. A long table in a Tuscan villa. A group of 30 instead of 130. It’s intimate, meaningful, and – sure – logistically harder on guests.

That’s where the criticism starts to creep in.

Because behind the romance of a destination wedding is the not-so-small matter of time, money, and expectation. Flights, leave from work, accommodation, babysitters, outfits… it all stacks up. And in a time where the cost of living is soaring, asking your friends to spend thousands to see you say “I do” can feel… a little loaded. Selfish, maybe.

Is it really about the location?

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Easy Weddings (@easyweddings)

Some argue it’s an unfair ask. Weddings, they say, should be about togetherness, not logistics. The onus shouldn’t be on your friends and family to restructure their lives around your dream.

And yet, isn’t that also the nature of weddings in general? Local or not, guests are almost always giving something: money, time, energy. A wedding isn’t a neutral social gathering. It’s a milestone event that asks for presence, emotional bandwidth, and often a new outfit. Is flying across the world fundamentally more selfish than requesting three weekends for bridal showers, hens’ nights, and engagement parties? Or is it just easier to criticise what feels less conventional?

When destination weddings are done right

The truth is that destination weddings are in no way inherently selfish. 

However, there’s a difference between creating a meaningful celebration abroad and treating your loved ones like supporting characters in a week-long fantasy. When the guest list is curated with care, and expectations are realistic, a destination wedding can feel intimate and generous. The best ones are less about spectacle and more about shared memory-making.

Destination weddings also often replace the multi-event fatigue of traditional weddings. No back-to-back functions, no last-minute RSVP drama. Instead, one long, immersive experience where the usual pressures dissolve.

Affordability is relative

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Global Weddings (@global_weddings)

Ironically, some destination weddings are more affordable for the couple than a local reception. A weekend in Bali with 40 guests may cost less than a five-hour reception in Sydney with 150. It’s not always about extravagance. Sometimes it’s just about reprioritising what matters, like location over guest count, and experience over tradition.

But the core of the question remains. Does choosing to host your wedding abroad indicate a lack of regard for your guests?

Not necessarily.

What it often reflects is a shift in values. Couples today are navigating a cultural landscape where expectations collide with individuality. 

How to not make your destination wedding feel selfish

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Easy Weddings (@easyweddings)

Yes, destination weddings can be a big ask. But they don’t have to be selfish. With a little thoughtfulness, you can create a celebration that’s not just about you, but about shared memories, meaningful connection, and making things as easy as possible for the people who matter most. 

Here’s how to strike the balance.

1. Give plenty of notice

Not everyone can drop everything and book a week off in Bali (as much as they’d like to). Send out save-the-dates early (ideally 9 to 12 months in advance) so guests can plan their holidays around your big day. Flights are cheaper, accommodation options are wider, and it gives everyone a fair chance to say yes without scrambling.

2. Be mindful of costs

You might have found a luxury cliffside villa you adore, but your guests shouldn’t have to stretch themselves just to attend. Choose a destination that offers a range of accommodation options (like hostels and Airbnbs or boutique hotels) so everyone can find something in their price range. Avoid exclusive resort packages that lock people into expensive group bookings.

3. Don’t overfill the itinerary

Yes, it’s your wedding week, but your guests are also on holiday. Leave space in the schedule for people to explore on their own, have a sleep-in, or go for an unplanned cocktail by the beach. A welcome dinner or casual catch-up before the big day is great, but don’t feel like you have to entertain everyone 24/7

4. Make it easy to attend

Your guests are doing a lot: travelling, taking time off work, and maybe arranging childcare. So the more information you can give them, the better. A wedding website with travel tips, directions, visa advice, and local recommendations is a simple way to reduce friction. Bonus points if you can help organise airport transfers or group discounts.

5. Respect the RSVP

Some people won’t be able to come. Maybe it’s finances, health, work, or family obligations. Don’t take it personally. Being gracious in how you respond to a ‘no’ speaks volumes about the kind of couple you are.

6. Make them feel appreciated

If you can, host a welcome party or provide a small gesture like a handwritten note or local treat on arrival. Acknowledge your guests during the reception, and let them know how much it means to you that they made the trip. Gratitude goes a long way in making a destination wedding feel less like a demand and more like an experience you’re sharing with loved ones.

Destination weddings aren’t a rejection of tradition, but a reimagining of it. It’s an invitation -not an expectation – for your closest people to witness your most personal vows in a place that means something to you. And that, by any standard, is far from selfish.

At the end of the day, destination weddings are about celebrating love in a way that feels right to you. With clear communication, kindness, and a little consideration, destination weddings can be both meaningful and inclusive.

Thinking of tying the knot overseas? Easy Weddings can help you plan a destination wedding that feels effortless (for you and your guest)s. From beachfront ceremonies in Bali to island escapes in Fiji or clifftop vows in Thailand, we’re here to help you create the wedding of your dreams.

Reach out to our team today to discuss your destination wedding plans!