What's the best way to break up with a bridesmaid?
Our wedding isn't until 2024 but now I'm regretting asking my bridesmaids to be bridesmaids so early. There's one who's making me regret the decision but I don't want to burn our friendship. How can I approach this with her?
Jasmine
Question Asked: 30/08/2022
Wedding Date: 3/11/2024
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Answered by: 5 Experts
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(18) · Byron Bay to Ballina , North Coast NSW and Gold Coast QLD
Posted: 18/03/2023
talk to her, privately and share your feelings. make suer you come to a mutual decision.
(10) · Melbourne & Surroundings, Yarra Valley, Dandenongs, and Gippsland
Posted: 21/10/2022
Wow this is very difficult , but being honest is always a good way to go. Sounds like you value her friendship and she needs to know this, explain as you have said I was excited and wanted everyone involved now thinking about it I have changed my mind and together you and your partner believe that the ceremony should be like, your vision.
You could give her another role, but maybe let the dust settle before you make your offering. As you move into the new chapter of you and your partners lives, friends change, you change and your priorities are not always compatible with some friends.
You might the article on Easy Weddings Blog helpful too
How to break up with a bridesmaid | Easy Weddings
Obviously your friendship with her is important. So you want to protect that, yet ask her to change from being a bridesmaid to not being a bridesmaid. Do you want her to attend the wedding? If yes, then what is she good at? Is there a role she can play that is different? For example decorate the ceremony venue or the receoption space or reception tables. Or is there a role involving co-ordinating the photographer's role and all the family shots? If you can find a role that actually suits her, your task then is to truly value her in that role and say that the new role will be a much bigger help to you than the bridesmaid role.
Please see the following Easy Weddings article -
How to break up with a bridesmaid | Easy Weddings
I hope this helps!
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Firstly, don't do it via text or even a phone call! Do it face to face (as you woud like it done to you). Secondly, try to nip it in the bud. Tell her how you're feeling without acusing or blaming her about anything - chances are she might not even be aware of it. Give her a chance to lift her game and then you won't have to dump her after all. Start the conversation off with "How are you feeling about being one of my bidesmaids?" to give her a chance to opt out if she wants. She will probably ask you "Why?", which then leads you on to being able to say "Well, sometimes it feels like you doin't want to be/are not enjoing it/are trying to sabotage me..." (whichever is the most appropriate). Then after that, if she doesn't lift her game and things still don't work out, at least she had some warning. Tell it to her straight and tell her that you just aren't letting anyone casue you stress in the lead up to and on your big day. Don't text her.