My fiance's mum and sister don't like me. Should his sister be in the bridal party. What do I do ?

Dear Bride,

Eeew !  This is awful for you - I am sorry.  I don't think the sister should be in your bridal party - why should she?  Even if you asked her, she would be being two faced if she accepted.  Mum is a different story.  You can include Mum re where she is sitting on the day and in your Groom's speeches etc. 

To try and build bridges with your future Mother In Law, why not think about buying her a corsage or wrist corsage for the Wedding Day.  You might be surprised.

Anything, really if you are respecting your new Husbands relationship with his Mother.

Make sure you hold your head up high and have a happy and proud day.

Best of Luck,

Jan 

Well, depends on how far apart you are and whether you already have someone for the roles. Why not ask them early if they would like to take part in your wedding and what they might do - such as readings, ushering. Often your worst enemy can become your best friend just depends on your approach

Mario

the role of a bridesmaid is to support the bride. If you feel that your future sister in law will not be able to fullfil that role, do not chose her in your bridal party. For sake of future family harmony, maybe ask her to do a reading.

No, his sister doesn't have to be in the bridal party. However it could help to improve your relationship with her if you offered her some sort of minor role, knowing she may well decline. Expect this, and don't set yourself up to be offended.

There's an important long term issue here, too. It's one of power and control. You mustn't allow his sister to have any control over the 'vibe' created on the day. If you invite her to be part of the bridal party and she accepts, and she's actually an awful person, she could subtly behave in such a way that spoilt your experience, even if it wasn't noticed by your guests. You mustn't give her this power. In fact, there must be a clear message from you that your future happiness is in no way dependent on her liking you. Nice to have, but not necessary.

There is a lot to be said for the old saying "keep your friends close, and your enemies closer". I always find that by giving parents and siblings a "job" often makes them mellow a bit and feel important, wanted and loved. Instead of, that they "don't matter". This could be a good way to mend some bridges. It doesn't have to be as a member of the Bridal Party. The ultimate choice is yours. Sometimes, nothing you do will make things right. But at least you will have tried.

Lynda M Payne CMC

Yes you have to invite them but no she does not have to be in the bridal party. Invite them and ask them advise , don't let them come back at you for not including them. Put on a happy face and be the better person..I know its hard just hang in there..Good Luck.

Wedding planning can be stressful for everyone, including your soon-to-be family-in-law, so maybe just work out a few tasks you don't mind allocating to these ladies and graciously suggest you'd appreciate their help - and allow them to decline if they don't want to be involved. Listen to their input, smile and say you'll consider their suggestions, but if it doesn't suit you and your partner, simply choose what you both want and don't get too caught up in explaining your reasons. It might be easier to choose only one bridesmaid, say, your bestie, and then there's no potential for discomfort! Good luck - and keep smiling!

Your wedding is your special day and it is important that you have people around you that you love and enjoy. The role of a bridesmaid is to support and encourage you on your wedding day. I do agree with Mardi below that it might be a nice gesture to invite your soon to be sister in law to be in the bridal party but not to the detriment of your happiness on the day.

Hi there,

You are entitled to choose whomever you wish to be part of your bridal party. There is no requirement that you should include your fiance's sister.

However, since you will be associated with her and the rest of your fiancee's family through marriage in the future, it might be seen as a nice gesture by your fiancee's family in general if you invite his sister to be in your bridal party. If she accepts, fine. If she declines the invitation, you can choose someone else.

Regardless of who is in the final bridal party, it's a good idea to advise all of them together in advance what sort of occasion it will be, and the supportive attitude and behaviour you and your fiance expect from them before and on the day

Regards,

Mardi Kent.