I am a terrible public speaker. How can I get ready for my wedding ceremony?

What you can do ahead of time is write your vows out on a card and say them out loud in front of the mirror.  Do this often so you get used to the sound of your own voice.  Then have a practise with your family or friends.  

A good celebrant with have your vows also written into her service so if you are unable to say them (which has happened) because you might become overwhelmed with emotion she will be able to say them for you.

Also a good celebrant will give you a couple of seconds to compose yourself if this happens.

That is a brave thing to do and I commend you doing and reading out your own vows.

At my wedding I couldn't do that as I was so nervous I was glad to follow the celebrant.

See how you go on the day, don't stress too much as your celebrant should be ready and comforting for you should you be unable to do so.

Good luck and have a great wedding

Barbara Beames Celebrant Melbourne

You dont have to speak at your wedding except to your future spouse.
your celebrant will help you and you only need to say your vows to you fiance.

Write you vows and have someone read them out loud to you so you can hear how they sound. Often what is written and how it is said can be very different. Have it written on the page with the gaps where you want pauses and use a big font. That way you can just read without having to think too much at the time. And then, read them out loud a few times in the week leading up to the ceremony - at least once a day - so they become natural to you. Make changes if you need to. 

Practice your vows at home. Speak slowly and put lots of commas - breaks in to articulate the words and anecdotes. A lot of couples rush through their vows to 'get them out of the way.' However, vows are a word picture you are painting for your partner and guests, so please, take your time when saying them ;)

So, practice reading your vows, slowly and with emphasis on the appropriate parts at home, as it will give you more confidence on the big day!

Hi congratulations on your upcoming wedding. The advice given so far is great the only thing I say to my couples is say the first word of your vows on the exhale.

Good luck and best wishes for you future together

Thank-you for your question! It's very common that couples ask about this and there are several things you can do. A personal vow whcih takes 2-3mins is very common and can give the bride or groom to-be nerves for weeks or day before your special day.

One thing I would say is write out your vows early and practice with a voice recording app to hear yourself. Sounds terrifying? Its one of the very best ways to hear how you are going to sound to your guests on the day. Focus on breathing and speaking very slowly, so slowly that you think its weird. The thing is your guests don't know what you are going to say, but you do. You need to give them time to catch up. So place your hand on your belly and make sure you take a breath as you're speaking. Keep your vows honest and light hearted, with lots of highlights from your time with your sweetie. Keep the serious stuff until the very end when you make your declaration of love and devotion. 

The second suggestion is also very popular. Consider a scripted vow with a personal statement instead of a full personal vow. The scripted vow and personal statement is a very helpful way of getting support from your celebrant with very much the same effect. So the scripted vow is where the celebrant does most of thetalking and you say, 'I do.' Then you can say a few words from the heart but ti doesn't have to be a full 2-3 mins (but it can if you feel like it). Its a very popular option with nervous brides and grooms to be.

I wish you every happiness on yoru wedding day and ever after...

In kindness,

Kyla

The Joyful Celebrant

Hi,

I understand how daunting it feels having to talk in front of so many people.  I think it is important to keep in mind that everyone there on your wedding day loves you and wants the very best for you.  They are there to support you and share in your joy, not judge you.

Remember, the reason you are there; be in the moment and don't forget to breathe! If you feel unsure, look at your partner, think about your breath and the feel of your feet on the ground.  This will help ground you. Remember, I will be there to help you if you need me.  I will have your vows prepared on a A5 card which will make it easier for you to read from.  You can hold the card in both hands, which will make it easier to hide any shaking hands you migth have.

No one will be able to hear your pounding heart, only you know, everyone wants the best for you.

Hi lovely!

There are so many ways to work on this - but the best way is to believe in yourself and the intention you have.

If your intention is to write some beautiful, meaningful and heartfelt Vows for your partner, then go for it!

But reading them in front of everyone is another matter entirely. Sometimes, I suggest that couples write their personal Vows to each other as a special letter, and exchange these letters during the Ceremony. They can then be read together at a later time. (Later in the evening during a quiet moment, the next day, or even on your 1st Wedding Anniversary).

You will need to say your 'Legal Vows' on the day no matter what - your full names, with the legal wording in place to say that you take ..... to be your lawful wedded Husband/Wife/Partner.

When it comes to nerves here are some of my tips: - 

- Let your Celebrant help you to write your Vows (for example I have an e-guide for how to write Personal Vows to one another).

- Be YOU! Just say what's in your heart!

- Practice reading them to yourself - in the car, before bed, when you have a quiet moment.

- Have a rehearsal! Not to read the Vows, but just so that you can feel more prepared for the whole Ceremony (if that's your jam)!

- On the day, I often use breath techniques to help calm nerves with my couples. These work wonders and I have many other Mindful tips to help too! 

I'm about to release a Mindful Manual for Wedding Prep to my website keep an eye on it and it will be free for download in the coming days!

Sal x 

www.themindfulcelebrant.com 

There are a few things I tell my 'nervous' couples...    The first is to create a bit of a 'bubble' for you and your partner.  Being able to look at each other while delivering your vows and block out everyone else seems to give people a bit of extra confidence.  

Look into your partner's eyes and remember that what you're saying is for them and them only and it's from your heart.    If you've already decided to exchange vows at your ceremony, it usually means that you think that what you have to say to them is important enough to do it publicly so try to not let the emotion of the day sway your decision. 

The other thing to remember is to keep it sincere.  If you believe in what you're saying and who you’re saying it too, it won't be a problem for you.  Don’t ‘wing it’, this is usually when you can stumble.

Also try to let your celebrant guide you through.  Let your celebrant know your intentions and your concerns about public speaking, a good celebrant has seen this all before and should be able to give you some tips to keep yourself calm and focussed on what you want to do. 

And last of all, don’t let anyone talk you ‘into’ or ‘out of’ what you really want to do.  This is your big day and you should feel total comfortable with everything that happens.         Good luck.

Most couples that I have deaalt with who want to write their own vows I have advised to keep it sincere, but also short and sweet, for as much as you love your partner and you want to show that in the words that you recite, people don't want you to go on and on about it, so  write a short paragraph, not a manuscript. And when it comes time to recite your vows I can hand you a small cue card that you can read from and to help the nerves practice reading your vows out aloud to yourself to become familiar with them, practice makes perfect.