Help! How do I write my vows?
Question Asked: 5/06/2025
Wedding Date: 28/02/2025
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Answered by: 7 Experts
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(236) · Brisbane & Surrounds | Sunshine Coast | Gold Coast | Northern NSW | Willing to Travel
Posted: 18/07/2025
My advice when crafting personal vows for your wedding…
- Start by reflecting on your journey as a couple and the unique qualities that you feel best define your relationship.
- Express your love authentically, using specific anecdotes and shared experiences that highlight your bond.
- Speak from the heart, conveying your promises with sincerity and clarity.
- Keep the tone genuine, and don’t hesitate to inject moments of humour or vulnerability.
- Consider addressing your partner directly, expressing gratitude for their presence in your life and articulating your aspirations for the future together.
- Keep it concise but impactful, ensuring that your words resonate with both you and your partner, on your special day.
With all my couples I ask them to think about these questions below
What drew them towards each other in the beginning?
What about each other makes you laugh?
Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner?
From those questions write from your heart, some funny moments, silly moments and why you are standing in front of your person now. One of my favourites that one groom wrote was I love you yesterday, I love you today, I love you tomorrow. It doesn't have to be a lot just meaningful.
Good luck.
Hello,
write from your heart, something that you like or love about each other.
think of when you first met!; it's the special moments that draw us togrether.
Share with everyone something special :)
I love this question and I get asked this all the time. I get my couples to answer three simple questions and then they can elaborate (or not!).
1. What do you love about your partner?
2. What promises are you making?
3. How has your partner changed your life or made you grow?
Your vows can be as simple or as detailed as you like — there’s no right or wrong way to do them. What matters most is that they reflect you. Your celebrant can offer guidance, suggestions, or examples, but feel free to make them your own. Speak in your voice, the way you would naturally talk to your partner.
When it comes time to say them, I always tell my couples: look each other in the eyes and forget everyone else. In that moment, it’s just the two of you.
Good luck but I'm sure they'll be perfect!
As a Celebrant of near 30 years I have helped many couples and believe the main issue relates to over complication, over thinking. In my experience if you help a couple separatly to get started they can usually complete what they want to say to each other.
I often suggest clear and not too long. Some humour can make the vows more interesting and bring a smile to the guests.
I have about 10 samples about how they could start, their vows, I share those and suggest I would be happy if they need support or help. that is usually all they need. I also suggest they could have something lke a scroll and NOT read from their phone (looks so much better)
I believe they also need to say similiar lengths of vows. eg,I have witnessed one saying 30 words and the other may 6 words. To avoid this I ask the couple if they would like to share with me how many words they have written. Most understand and are receptive.
Ruth Pope
The same way you eat an elephant. Small bites! I suggest my couples put some random, first things that come into your head, thoughts on paper. Add to those thoughts as the months go by and then 2-3 weeks prior to the ceremony pull it together in what you feel you want to say. Again, put it away and revisit a week later and I'm confident that your vows will come together and say what is in your heart. It doesn't have to be Shakespeare or War & Peace, it needs to be heartfelt and sincere. Think of it as a 'word gift' that you are giving your partner on your wedding day. And keeping them secret from each other until the wedding day makes them a lovely surprise, often the highlight of the wedding. PS google is always helpful in constructing vows, but your celebrant should provide guidance for you too.
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There are a few select words that have to be said to make your marriage legal, and your Celebrant will advise you on that, and you don’t actually have to say any more than those few words; however, many like to add some personal words, something very special and unique to express love however, you should not feel pressured to say more than you wish.
Lots of people are now using AI to write their vows, but I consider that to be a big mistake because do you really want your love defined by what someone in a small, smoke-filled room in a third-world country basement is writing and linking to a computer program, to present to billions of others as your personal vows?
Here are some easy tips:
There are 13 tips to get you started
1. I get chills and thrills
2. My heart races
3. My world seems wonderful
1. You have changed how I see the world
2. I want a better life not just for me but for us both and our children
3. I want to be better and am better
4. I am the person that I always wanted to be but didn’t realise it
Ok, that’s more than three but you get the idea.