Help! How do I write my vows?

There are many on line platforms to assist you with your vows.

Check out a number of ideas, write a draft & then process your 

thoughts until you personalise the vows.

It helps to rehearse them with a close friend or family member.

Most celebrants are happy to guide you too.

All the best,

Maz

Simply, from the heart. You are talking directly to your wife/husband to be. Love, hopes, and promises are a good place to start. I can also provide starters to get your imagination rolling. 

Many of my couples write personal vows from their heart which makes the vows very meaningful. Brainstorm some ideas, search on the internet, use AI, talk to your celebrant.

There are a few select words that have to be said to make your marriage legal, and your Celebrant will advise you on that, and you don’t actually have to say any more than those few words; however, many like to add some personal words, something very special and unique to express love however, you should not feel pressured to say more than you wish.

Lots of people are now using AI to write their vows, but I consider that to be a big mistake because do you really want your love defined by what someone in a small, smoke-filled room in a third-world country basement is writing and linking to a computer program, to present to billions of others as your personal vows?

Here are some easy tips:

There are 13 tips to get you started

1. We first met when… 
• Where did you meet
• How did you meet
• How did you feel at that moment?
2. I realised you were the love of my life when… 
• At the first kiss
• The moment you spoke
• I wanted to be with you all the time
• I couldn’t stop thinking of you
• I felt wonderful anytime you walked into the room
• I could smell you hair, and smile even when you weren’t there
• I couldn’t see a future without you
• I feel tingles every time I thought of you
• With just crept up on me
• Before we even met
• I realised my life has changed
3. When I am with you,

1.                  I get chills and thrills

2.                  My heart races

3.                  My world seems wonderful

1. Since you came into my life, I have grown as a person because… 

1.                  You have changed how I see the world

2.                  I want a better life not just for me but for us both and our children

3.                  I want to be better and am better

4.                  I am the person that I always wanted to be but didn’t realise it

1. What you mean to me is…
• My life is better because of you
• I am safe and secure and see a future with love
2. Three things I love about you are (make your own list):

1.  
1. The way you walk
2. The way you talk
3. The way smile
4. The curve of your face
5. How you make me feel
6. Your eyes and how you look at me

Ok, that’s more than three but you get the idea.

1. You are:
• the most wonderful person I have ever met.
• The most beautiful person I have ever seen
• the love of my life,
• my everything,
• my reason to breathe,
• my playmate,
• my partner in crime,
• my today, tomorrow and every day.
• amazing, wonderful, inspiring
• the one I have dreamed of meeting, but never believe it could be true
2. I love that you love:
• Me, despite my quirks and foibles
• The movies/sports/things that I like
• Sharing life with me
• Our children & pets
• Adventure
• Waking up beside me
• being close to me
3. I realised that you were my forever love:
• the first moment I saw you, my heart stopped
• Before I even met you
• The moment you walked into the room
• when I looked into your eyes and saw all my tomorrows
• The moment you walked out of the room, and I felt my world was empty without you
• Our first kiss
• When I saw your eyes
• When you smiled
• When you laughed at my jokes
• When I felt like an idiot, but you took my hand and smiled.
• When I tasted your lamb roast
• When my parents hated you
• When my parents said they loved you
• When my best mate asked if he/she could ask you out
• When I realised I was a much better person because you are in my life
4. I remember when:
• We had our first coffee/scotch/tequila/walk/holiday/laugh
• You made me feel I was floating on air
• We went parachuting/hang gliding/bungy jumping
• You/We, fell over in the mud
• We met at the theatre
• We watched our first sad movie together
• Our hands touched when we both reached for the popcorn
• We got drunk together
• I fell and you caught me
• I threw up and you held my hair
• We sat talking until dawn and watched the sunrise together
• We chatted on Tinder before realising we were in the same train carriage
5. My promises to you are:
• I will always support you
• I will be by your side when you are sick
• Cook for you and/or feed you when you are hungry
• I will forgive you when you get mad
• to never steal the covers unless, you’re hogging them
• to say I love you every single day
• Make you laugh even if you don’t want to
• I will go to any length to make you happy
• To never hurt you but to always protect you
• I will put the toilet seat down (if I remember)
• Go to a church with you
• Never say you look fat in that
• To read or write a poem for you at least once a year
• Always be with you whatever happens in our lives
6. I look forward to:
• Sharing the rest of my life with you
• Having 15 kids, three dogs, two snakes, an elephant, and a 100 rabbits (well, just two rabbits but they breed faster than we do)
• Travelling the world with you even if it is just to Ulladulla
• Breathing the same air as you for all of our lives
• Kissing you goodnight every night and waking up beside you every morning
• Doing stuff together
7. I will continue to do this:
• As long as we both shall live.
• Forever and a day,
• for eternity
• until death does us part.
• Until South Sydney wins the premiership

My advice when crafting personal vows for your wedding…

- Start by reflecting on your journey as a couple and the unique qualities that you feel best define your relationship.

- Express your love authentically, using specific anecdotes and shared experiences that highlight your bond.

- Speak from the heart, conveying your promises with sincerity and clarity.

- Keep the tone genuine, and don’t hesitate to inject moments of humour or vulnerability.

- Consider addressing your partner directly, expressing gratitude for their presence in your life and articulating your aspirations for the future together.

- Keep it concise but impactful, ensuring that your words resonate with both you and your partner, on your special day.

With all my couples I ask them to think about  these questions below

What drew them towards each other in the beginning?

What about each other makes you laugh?

Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner?

From those questions write from your heart, some funny moments, silly moments and why you are standing in front of your person now.  One of my favourites that one groom wrote was I love you yesterday, I love you today, I love you tomorrow.  It doesn't have to be a lot just meaningful.

Good luck.  

Hello,

write from your heart, something that you like or love about each other.

think of when you first met!; it's the special moments that draw us togrether.

Share with everyone something special :)

I love this question and I get asked this all the time.  I get my couples to answer three simple questions and then they can elaborate (or not!).  

1. What do you love about your partner?

2. What promises are you making?

3. How has your partner changed your life or made you grow?

Your vows can be as simple or as detailed as you like — there’s no right or wrong way to do them. What matters most is that they reflect you. Your celebrant can offer guidance, suggestions, or examples, but feel free to make them your own. Speak in your voice, the way you would naturally talk to your partner.

When it comes time to say them, I always tell my couples: look each other in the eyes and forget everyone else. In that moment, it’s just the two of you.

Good luck but I'm sure they'll be perfect!

As a Celebrant of near 30 years I have helped many couples and believe the main issue relates to over complication, over thinking. In my experience if you help a couple separatly to get started they can usually complete what they want to say to each other. 

I often suggest clear and not too long. Some humour can make the vows more interesting and bring a smile to  the guests.

I have about 10 samples about how they could start, their vows, I share those and suggest I would be happy if they need support or help. that is usually all they need. I also suggest they could have something lke a scroll and NOT read from their phone (looks so much better)

I believe they also need to say similiar lengths of vows. eg,I have witnessed one saying 30 words and the other may 6 words. To avoid this I ask the couple if they would like to share with me how many words they have written. Most understand and are receptive.

Ruth Pope