Bridesmaid drama!

You can mabey explain to your cousins in person over a coffee, that you would like all of them to be in your bridal party, but you just can't do that, so perhaps suggest that they take on different roles, which could range from doing a reading, being ushers, perhaps taking on the mc role...there could be so many important roles they could take care of. Hope this helps, regards Sharen Pelly.

Hi Dennise, I had a similar incident when I remarried a couple of years back. The best advice I can give is be up front and honest about your decision as to your decision, it is after all your day and your decision as to who you want in your bridal party, my motto for my couples is "your wedding, your way" yes, they maybe hurt but if your honest and if they are truly supportive and happy for you then there really shouldn't be an issue.

Tough one, so try to do it like the logies - mention that you have so many to choose from, that the choice was not easy, explain that you dont want to offend and then announce their names - all in the same few minutes. It should be more acceptable

mario

Firstly Dennise, do you have to announce your Bridesmaids at your engagement party. I would give that a bit of thought, might be a possibility that it will spoil your night. Secondly, your Aunties would have to realise that you can't have a dozen attendants. Maybe you can give your other cousins the opportunity (all together) to stand up during the ceremony and do a reading (share it) this way no one is left out or offended. Maybe a couple could be your witnesses as well . Witnesses does not have to be your bridesmaids. Good luck with it all and have a lovely wedding day. Don't forget it's about you and your fiancée and try not to get caught up in the politics of family. The day is about Love and Understanding.

Hi Denise. You could speak individually with the cousins who are not being the bridesmaids and tell them you do not want a big wedding party and that the cousin being the bridesmaid is representing all female cousins. You could offer the others important jobs as suggested by Catherine.

Hi Dennise, Maybe the other cousins could be involved in different ways, such as a reading or working with your celebrant to craft a unique 'mini ceremony' using flowers or other things you like. If they're creative, ask them to help style the space! It's fine to choose the person you're closest to - most people would understand, and I agree, perhaps don't make a big announcement!

Hi Dennise

That is always a tricky one. I would definitely have a quiet word with the ones who are not involved beforehand, that way you will avoid the outburst, tears & drama. Maybe you can involve the others with readings, ushering, MC, or other roles to help them feel included.

You can't have everyone but you may look at having a couple of cousins come up and read a poem as part of the ceremony, that way you are including others. Mabe also look at giving others special jobs leading up to the wedding to make them feel special.

Deciding who stays and who doesn't is the unfortunate domain of brides and grooms throughout their wedding planning. It's never easy to decide, and even harder to communicate it. I would suggest discussing it with those that have missed our personally before you make the grand announcment. It will allow you to have a more personal conversation and your can explain your reasons.

It is after all your day, and if they truely support that - they may be upset- but will understand.

Good luck!

Hi - I understand how hard that is.

I think it would be a good idea to let your cousins a know your decision in person or on the phone before the engagement party and explain to them, that although they are very special to you, it is just too difficult to include everyone in the bridal party, and so you have chosen just your cousin who have a special relationship with. Most people will understand that. The other option is to give them a role in the wedding that isn't the bridal party (depending on how many people there are). They could be one of the witnesses (you need 2) or could make a reading etc. You can also give them an extra special mention at the reception during the speeches.

I hope that helps.

Jo