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Wedding Toasts and Speeches
This section of the brides guide has been written by best-selling author and inspirational speaker, Laurie Smale. It includes handy hints on how to give a great wedding speech.
One of the saddest things to overhear when a person gets up to give a speech at a wedding reception is "I´ll just get this over and done with" - and of course they´re the sort of feelings that radiate. Where as what they should be saying is "I´m looking forward to this speech as a priceless gift to people I care about". These individuals inspire, entertain, and move people. The following tips from my book "How to take the Panic out of Public Speaking" and my CD program "One Step to Panic-Free Public Speaking" will help ensure that the speeches at your wedding reception are uplifting and memorable. Make sure everyone doing a speech understands the following:
» Guests don´t expect a polished professional speaker. They do expect you´ve given some prior thought to what you have to convey and you mean what you say. They will relate to you if you keep the information personal and come across as the natural, imperfect human being that you are.
» The fear of a large audience is completely unfounded. These folk haven´t travelled far and dressed up in their finest clothes just to evaluate your every word and move! They´re there to celebrate the love between two people. The fact is you´ll be talking to a group of friends.
» Stay sober. Save your celebratory drinks till after your speech.
» Walk forward with pride in the firm knowledge that you´ve earnt the right to speak on the subject by way of being a parent or long-standing friend.
» Speak real and make friends with your audience. Forget trying to be a public speaking clone. Think friendly ´informal´ conversation rather than a distant ´formal´ approach. This will free you from the fear of getting something wrong. Let your body and voice intuitively mirror the chemistry of the moment.
» Your speech must never offend. Be brief. Keep it crisp, clear and deliberate. About four minutes duration would be ideal.
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Plan a general path of where you want to take your listeners, with your end clearly in mind. Memorise your opening: "I´m deeply honoured for the opportunity to share some of my thoughts with you tonight... " and memorise your ending: "Would you all please stand and join me in a toast to Jenny and Bill". For the rest, relive your stories from memory.
» Be a storyteller. The secret is to reflect on past experiences and find the right story for the occasion. ´Awkward´ moments are fine but no dirty ones. Ask close friends and relatives for stories you can use. You could relive from memory how the groom acted strangely the day he proposed; you could relate the time little Sally upstaged the Principal at the school concert; or you could highlight the groom´s generosity with the story of his willingness to help you paint your house during the holidays.
» In times of great emotion it is often hard to hold back the tears. Under no circumstances apologise for feelings which are as natural as the air we breathe. As your tears flow the audiences´ tears will flow with you. You´ll soon regain your composure and have people laughing with you as you share one of those ´awkward´ moments we can relate to.
» Always get there early and familiarise yourself with the sound system. All microphones are different so get to know the one you´ll be using.
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Strong lights shining directly in your eyes mean your eyes are not shadowed and your audience can see you. Don´t squint and turn your head away with off-putting comments like "Gee that´s light´s strong!" Pretend that everything is normal and look right through it.
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Rehearse your talk ´live´ for ten minutes a day from your favourite armchair. Imagine yourself at the venue as the confident warm speaker you desire to be. Each time you rehearse your words will be ever so slightly different. You´ll thus create an internal comfort zone within yourself and it will no longer frighten you.
Order of Wedding Toasts
Keeping in mind cultural differences and today´s flexibility, the following is a traditional approach:
» Toast to the Bride & Groom by close friend or relative
» Response, expressions of thanks, toast to Bridal Party by the Groom/Bride.
"Here we have a table of some very special people, let me tell you why..."
(Interesting snippet on each of them).
» Response on behalf of Bridal Party by Best Man
» Toast to Bride´s Parents by close friend or relative
» Response by the Bride´s Father
» Toast to the Groom´s Parents by close friend or relative
» Response by the Groom´s Father
» Reading of telegrams. (Optional. Vet any that may offend)
Duties of the Master of Ceremonies
The MC will coordinate the order of affairs at the reception without intruding or taking over.
Here is a list of the MC´s duties:
» Liaise with caterers and band/D.J.
» Direct guests to refreshments area.
» Guests seated.
» Welcome guests on behalf of the Bride & Groom.
» Introduce the Wedding Party.
» Announce dinner.
» Call upon each person giving a speech.
» Announce cutting of the cake.
» Announce bridal waltz.
» Announce Bridal Party and Parents to join the Bride & Groom on the dance floor.
» Invite the other guests to join the dancing.
» Announce tossing of bouquet.
» Announce Farewell Circle/Guard of Honour.
» Announce departure of Bride & Groom.
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