How many bridesmaids?

The question of how many bridesmaids to have is a common one in the early stages of planning a wedding, and as choosing your bridesmaids can be an emotional minefield amongst your friends and family, it is worth putting a lot of thought into it. Here are eight tips on deciding how many bridesmaids would suit your particular wedding.

1. From a purely practical standpoint, you could make the number of bridesmaids relative to the size of your wedding. It is customary to have one bridesmaid and one usher to every fifty guests, so if you are having a small intimate wedding just ask your best mate, and if you are having a flamboyant bash for three hundred you can look for six ladies in waiting.

2. When choosing bridesmaids it helps to use the all or nothing rule. If you have several nieces or future nieces-in-law you need to ask all of them or none of them to avoid bad feeling. If you are asking one friend’s daughter, expect to ask all your other friends’ daughters of a similar age. This doesn’t apply if you have a special relationship to one little girl, such as being her godmother for example.

3. The expression ‘blood is thicker than water’ may be clichéd but it is often true. Most friends will understand if you ask your sisters to be bridesmaids over them; many will expect you to do so. Look at how many sisters you have, including any step sisters and future sisters-in-law. If that is the right number of bridesmaids for you it could be the simplest solution.

4. Work out your bridesmaid budget before you decide how many to have. Although it is traditional for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, many brides like to make at least some contribution to the cost of the outfit. You may need to buy accessories, and you will certainly have to give a thank you gift to each bridesmaid and provide transport to the ceremony.

5. If you are having young bridesmaids or flower girls, it is a good idea to have at least one adult bridesmaid as well. The older bridesmaid can keep the younger ones under control; the last thing you want to be doing in your bridal gown is chasing after a runaway flower girl. Younger bridesmaids often behave better if the older bridesmaid is their sister or someone they know well.

6. When you are deciding how many bridesmaids to have, make sure you look for the ladies that you really want by your side on your big day. Don’t be too guided by practical issues such as the fact that they live out of town and can’t make your rehearsal, or the fact that they are trying for a baby and may be pregnant by the wedding date.

7. Think about the kind of pre-wedding atmosphere you want to create. Do you imagine getting ready with a noisy bustling crowd of giggling girls, or would you prefer a calm, serene morning of being pampered with just your sister or best friend? Your bridesmaids will be with you in the hours before the wedding so make sure you don’t have too many if you want a relaxing time.

8. Think what you want your bridesmaids to do on the wedding day itself. If you want them all to sit with you at the top table, and to all take part in the receiving line, you may need to keep the numbers down. If they are just going to walk down the aisle with you, and then go off to join their friends and families for the rest of the day, you can have as many as you like.