Wedding Invitation Wording

The most important question you need to ask yourself before proceeding is whether you are ‘bound’ by family and/or ethnic custom(s). This means that you are expected to comply with traditional standards set by relatives and in-laws, and perhaps your ethnic background.

Traditional Invitations
Strictly speaking, only the names of the parents hosting the wedding shall appear on the invitation. The party hosting the wedding specifically means the party that is paying for the wedding.

The most significant tradition is that the father of the bride hosts the wedding, given that he is accommodating the majority of the cost. Therefore, the most traditional of invitations will cite the bride’s parents only.

An invitation of the most traditional kind (whereby only the bride’s parents, as host, announce the wedding) would appear as follows:


Mr & Mrs Anthony Alexander Smith

cordially invite you to attend the
wedding ceremony of their daughter

Mary Jane Smith

to

Andrew Scott Cross


These days, however, traditional invitations need not be so implicitly defined. Most frequently, the groom’s parents appear on the invitation, even though they are not ‘hosting’. This is really a gesture of general courtesy, in an attempt to recognise both sets of parents.

On such an occasion, the invitation would appear as follows:


Mr & Mrs Anthony Alexander Smith

cordially invite you to attend the
wedding ceremony of their daughter

Mary Jane Smith

To

Andrew Scott Cross
son of Mr & Mrs John Reginald Cross


Alternately, parents of both the bride and groom may host the wedding, in which case, they are each addressed appropriately. Such an invitation would appear as follows:

Mr & Mrs Anthony Alexander Smith

and

Mr & Mrs John Reginald Cross

cordially invite you to attend the
wedding ceremony of

Mary Jane Smith

to

Andrew Scott Cross


Sometimes, a parent of either the bride or groom will be deceased. The invitation will still mention the deceased parent ‘in honour’, for example:


Mr Anthony Alexander Smith
(in honour of the late Mrs Jane Emily Smith)
and
Mr & Mrs John Reginald Cross

cordially invite you to attend the
wedding ceremony of

Mary Jane Smith

to

Andrew Scott Cross
Or, perhaps


Mr & Mrs Anthony Alexander Smith
and
Mr & Mrs John Reginald Cross

cordially invite you to attend the
wedding ceremony of

Mary Jane Smith
(in honour of the late Mrs Jane Emily Smith)

to

Andrew Scott Cross

A further development that has affected the way we set out traditional invitations is that of step families. Regardless, the same principle applies, ie., the hosting party is addressed first. The most significant difficulty will be attempting to determine whether to address all parties, and if so, how. An invitation may appear as follows:



Mr & Mrs Anthony Alexander Smith

and

Mr & Mrs John Reginald Cross

cordially invite you to attend the
wedding ceremony of
Mary Jane Smith
(appreciation to Ms. Jane Emily Smith)

to

Andrew Scott Cross

Generally, the most appropriate solution is going to be that which does not offend the other party(s), and of course, there will not be any hard and fast rule that can be applied, simply because all individuals will have differing opinions. The wedding is a special occasion, and all parents may rightfully hope to receive a mention on the invitation.

The bottom line is that this is your decision. You should endeavour to be as diplomatic as possible when attempting to come to an appropriate conclusion, ie., offer them the opportunity to comment on their own expectations. Of course, some parents just can not be happy no matter what you suggest. In this situation, the only option you have is to subtly confirm you have made your best effort to accommodate all concerned.

One thing is guaranteed, however: this is a sensitive issue, and failing to mention a parent on the invitation without first discussing it with them may only lead to grief. Even the gentlest of parents may be quite upset by this, and quite often, these feelings do not wash away over night.

Modern Invitations
Modern invitations do not cite the parents at all; it is the bride and groom that ‘announce’ the wedding. Most importantly, it can now often be the case that the bride and groom elect to host the wedding as their parents simply can not afford to do so. An example of this would be as follows:


Your presence is welcomed
to celebrate the marriage of

Mary Jane Smith

and

Andrew Scott Cross

Venues: Ceremony and Reception
The body of the invitation will identify the location and time for the wedding ceremony AND the reception. For example:


Mr & Mrs Anthony Alexander Smith

cordially invite you to attend the wedding ceremony
of their daughter

Mary Jane Smith

to

Andrew Scott Cross

at

5.00pm

St. Andrews Cathedral
Stirling Street
Perth

Reception

7.30pm
Stirling Gardens Restaurant
Hyatt Hotel
Perth

Buffet Meal
(incl. Beer, wine & softdrink)

We kindly request no children

Some weddings hold the ceremony and reception all at the one venue. In this instance, the content will appear as follows:


Your presence is welcomed
to celebrate the marriage of

Mary Jane Smith

and

Andrew Scott Cross

at

5.00pm
Stirling Gardens Restaurant
Hyatt Hotel
Perth

(Reception shall proceed Wedding Ceremony at same venue)

Cocktail Reception
(incl. Beer, wine & soft drink)

When to send out the Invitations
The general rule is that wedding invitations go out six weeks prior to the wedding. When you have guests that are travelling from overseas, invitations may go out up to eight to ten weeks in advance. Bear in mind, however, that if guests living overseas are close family, they will be aware of the date well in advance (as most people are these days!) and receiving the wedding invitation is merely a formality. You will no doubt already have spoken with them to coordinate dates, times and the like, and as such, there is no need to rush the invitations in an effort to get them out earlier.

DO remember, however, that you need to allow additional time to prepare and print the invitations. When having your invitations prepared by a professional stationer, you may need to allow an additional eight to twelve weeks for preparation and printing. Some invitations (such as the more traditional ones which are gilded and embossed) can take even longer to prepare again.

This article was provided by: Sweet Petites