When we first ask our bridesmaids to stand by our side for what’s widely considered one of the most important events in our lives, it’s hard to predict whether they will live up to their expectations. If you have found yourself in the awkward situation of dealing with a Bridesmaidzilla, you’ve come to the right place.
They’re your best friends, what could possibly go wrong?
Unfortunately, a lot.
Being a bridesmaid is the ultimate test of a friendship. They’ll have to be upbeat and excited for the event, while being that voice of reason when your own Brideszilla instincts kick in.
Entrusting friends with important wedding planning priorities and jobs should be fairly straight forward, but sometimes plans go awry.
For instance, your bridesmaids might kick up a fuss about the dress you’ve chosen them to wear, or they might see issue with the groomsman they’ve been paired with.
We’ve all heard the rogue bridesmaid stories.
Listen to her concerns
If you sense your bridesmaid is starting to sprout scales and stomp around bridesmaid dress stores, we recommend lending an ear to listen to her concerns before trying to rein her in.
Maybe she has a legitimate concern about the dress you’ve chosen – maybe the style isn’t something she’s comfortable in, or the price is out of her budget.
If she’s finding herself overwhelmed with planning the hen’s night, this is where you offer a smaller job so she can still contribute without feeling as though her entire life is on hold for your wedding. Which brings us to the first point…
Give her something she can tackle within her means
If your bridesmaid has a concern about her ability to deliver on wedding duties and wedding dress shopping commitments, offer to have her contribute in a smaller way. For example, you might get her to attend her dress alteration appointments but allow her to sit out of DIY decoration making as it can be time consuming for those with family and work commitments.
If the actual role of bridesmaid is what is concerning her, you can offer to include her in the day in another role, such as senior flower girl or ceremony usher.
Get someone else to talk to her
When planning your wedding, the last thing you need is a bridesmaid kicking up a fuss. They’re your closest friends, and having a dispute with your close friend is enough to sour the lead up to the wedding.
If you have a maid of honour, encourage her to be the point of contact for any bridesmaid concerns or questions. This will allow you to focus on what you need to – preparing for your wedding day!
Talk to her yourself
If you do decide to confront the issue directly, make sure you do so in a polite, understanding manner. Take her out for dinner or for coffee – allow her chance to explain once again what’s bothering her.
Try to remember that while your wedding is a top priority for you, your wedding is often not the centre of your bridesmaids lives. They have other hobbies, commitments and work to think about, and sometimes extra wedding appointments and jobs becomes all too much for a bridesmaid.
If she’s really digging her heels in about something, such as her bridesmaid dress, and you’ve offered compromise, it might be time to let her go. While it may seem drastic, the title of bridesmaid is a role that deserves friends who have your best interests at heart.
Your bridesmaid will be left to relax and attend the event with the other guests, and you can still enjoy your wedding.