What is everyones thoughts on +1s at a wedding??

Hi Alexandra. Yes it is something I can relate to. You may have problems with your fiance, bestfriend and family because of your decision. Speak to your fiance and mother about your concerns. You all may be able to come up with a solution. If you are more concerned with the budget, try to cut down on some other wedding details.

Hi Alexandra,

This is a hard one ! It is your wedding and I would normally say - do what you like for your big day.  However, it is your fiance' wedding as well.  I think you have to ask yourself, wether you could rise above your personal feelings for the sake of your future husband and your Mum.  

As you go through married life together, there will be many occassions where you will need to compromise.  Life is full of compromise.  Search your heart and see what you come up with, then if you still think the same, sit down with your fiance' and Mum and explain.

Best of luck,

Jan 

not an easy issue, but be consistent. you are not obliged to

Hi Alexandra,

This is a very touchy area, and I have gone through it from a professional side and also a personal. Realistically it is your wedding and it should be done your way. Budgets are strict and really only those who you really want to be there should be. There are no real rules when it comes to whom you should invite and those that say 'well usually' are just trying tot ell you from heir experience. Every wedding is different, if you feel like you have made the right choice then the right choice has been made. Good luck and best wishes

I feel for you it's not easy, but your budget is important, If you both agree that partners are invited, why not reduce the costs! Looking at food, drinks Alcohol etc. If partners aren't included it can run into long term problems with family & friends. I hope this helps. Paul Burgess CMC

Alexandra it is you and your partners wedding. The final decision is down to the both of you. Having said that, and I caution couples on surprise weddings, it also involves your family and best of friends who have been on your life long journey and who wish to celebrate it with you. Not including their partners could be awkward. I had a running blog a few years ago on ways couples can cut the costs of weddings. My daughter insisted on doing it all herself and we all had a wonderful day with the high costs of caters venues etc. Get them to help you with things as well. It is then a win-win for everyone. Enjoy yourselves, Lee Halligan, Celebrant

It is the wedding of you and your fiance. You both have to own the decision and the impact of that decision. There is not a right or wrong answer. It is what on balacne you both think is appropiate.

I feel for you both, it's always a difficult decision to make. I agree with Craig and Jen below also. I say to my couples always try and stick to your budget, what other people do for their wedding may not be what you want so try and strike the balance and keep the communication going with your partner. It's also very difficult if a parent is helping pay for the wedding they may feel they can influence who can come too! You will know when you know and be happy with the final decision that you both make. All the very best to you both. Warm Regards, Chrissy Ratcliffe CMC

Tricky situation, Alexandra. How does your fiance feel about having those additional people there? It's his wedding too. Have you and your best friend discussed the possibility of not including the partner?

You probably want everyone to feel happy for you and part of your celebrations, and you should both feel relaxed, so it's something you need to talk through over the next few months before finalising your guest list. If it's clear to everyone it's family only and it's say, around 10-20 people, you can probably keep +1's off your list - if it's a larger wedding Craig (below) might be right! To include a few +1's might only cost you a little in terms of money, but excluding them might cost you a lot in terms of friendships. Good luck!

It's a touchy area sometimes :) My view is that if the +1 is a long-term partner and you know them, then they are usually invited, but if someone has a relatively new boyfriend/girlfriend, then NO. But - at the end of the day - your wedding, your call. Your bestie may say to you "if he is not invited, its best if I don't come either". Regards - Craig Moran, Celebrant.