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Chat to other parent's about Stages of Development; Eating; Sleeping; Temper Tantrums;

7 posts Page 1 of 1

Postby keene121 » Thu Aug 29, 2013 1:54 pm

Hi Everyone.

Just needing your advice on our situation.

My DD is 2.1 years old and goes to daycare 4 days a week (Mon-Thurs). When she turned 2, the daycare moved her to the Pre-kindy room and advised that they wanted to start toilet training. I reluctantly agreed and I figured that they thought she was ready. Being a first time mum, I had no idea what the signs were.

To-date, DD hasnt progressed AT ALL in relation to toilet training. They have been persisting now for over a month yet she has:

:luv1: Never done a wee or poo on the toilet
:luv1: Never tells anyone she needs to go
:luv1: Never tells anyone she HAS been
:luv1: Cant pull her own pants down.
:luv1: When I know she has done a poo and I ask her if she has done one, her answers are yes,then no, then yes, then no etc etc.

Given that, I am really sceptical that she is actually ready for this. When I pick her up from daycare, she is always wearing undies but as soon as she walks through the door, she has an accident and Im left cleaning it up. Some days, she can come home from Daycare with 5-6 changes of clothes all soiled :nothappyjan:

I understand that toilet training takes time and patience. I havent shown my frustration to her and definitely try to make it a fun experience but I feel she hasnt progressed even in the slightest since day one. Even tempting her with treats is not working.

So, my question/s are.....

Would you persist??
Is she ready in your opinion?
Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill because I have never done this before??
Am I doing something wrong??


Postby eky_kate » Thu Aug 29, 2013 4:34 pm

It doesn't sound like she is ready IMO. I am no where near toilet training but it just doesn't sound like it to me. I don't have any advice but I know some people that leave a potty around the house so they get familiar with it and some of my friends let their little ones come to the toilet with them and say what they are doing so that its not foreign for them.

Good luck with what ever try decide to do. Maybe ask them what signs she was giving? Then you can make your own decision instead of feeling pressured into it.
xo Erin xo
Married - 1 October 2010
My Big Day - ... 67#p349067
Lachlan William born 12.11.12
Postby Mrs.S » Thu Aug 29, 2013 7:56 pm

It doesn't sound like she's ready at all, TBH when I read that the day care are the ones forcing the issue it made me angry! Who are they to tell you when your daughter HAS to be toilet trained?!?!?! Trying to make toilet train before she's ready is only going to make it harder to do.

My boys are almost 27 months and they're only just starting to tell me when they've done poos (after the fact). They will sit on the toilet, but not do anything (they just like putting toilet paper in the toilet :lol: )

To answer your questions:

Would you persist?? ~ No, she'll let you know when she's ready.
Is she ready in your opinion? ~ No
Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill because I have never done this before?? ~ No - you know your daughter better than anyoneAm I doing something wrong?? ~ No!

I hope I made some sense! :cuddles: :cuddles: :cuddles: to you hun.
:angelic-grayflying: Our little scorpio angel ~ 25/10/2013 (5 weeks)

"Can you hear the silence? Can you see the dark? Can you fix the broken? Can you feel my heart?" - Bring Me the Horizon
Postby mrskc » Fri Aug 30, 2013 4:24 pm

I personally don't think she's ready yet. We've just started on the TT journey but that is because DD asks to wear undies and if I don't put some on her she'll take her pants and nappy off and go find some undies. We are going the *very* slow route, we've got a potty and a toilet seat and stool for her but we aren't pressuring her to go to the toilet if she doesn't want to (she usually asks about once a day). She's not quite there yet so we've been using nappy pants as she tells us she wants to pee/poo just as she's about to start.

I very much believe in parent's intuition, if you don't think she's at that stage yet then she most likely isn't. You've mentioned a lot of key things that she isn't doing yet so Id be asking daycare to stop persisting with TT until you feel she's ready. You definitely aren't making a mountain out of a molehill or doing something wrong, every child develops at a different stage and it sounds like daycare are trying to push your daughter into something she's not ready for.

Proud to be BlushinB's belly buddy Due July 2012 - It's a boy! Welcome Noah Ethan!

Super excited to be Arashell129's belly buddy Due January 2013 - It's a boy! Welcome Wyatt Christopher!
Postby Arashell129 » Mon Sep 02, 2013 2:30 pm

Doesn’t sound like she is ready at all IMO. A lot of those things you’ve listed would be key for you to know she understands the concept. Seems to me that the centre has her on some sort of timeline, in that she is 2+ she must start training…
My dd centre did a similar thing, except she was in the toddler room! Not even 2! Honestly though, I just let them… she only goes 2 days a week though so I didn’t have to deal with too many soiled clothes. They started just having her in training pants for the morning then into a nappy for sleep and the afternoon. Maybe if they are determined to continue ask them to try that? Might cut down on the clothes?

My dd ended up tt at 23 mo. I waited till she was showing signs and it was honestly, easy. I think because she was ready. She had started telling us she was doing a wee or a poo and had started to take off her nappy occasionally for a couple of weeks before we decided to try and tt. We never bothered with a potty just bought one of those seat thingys that goes under the toilet seat and makes it smaller, helps them feel like they're not going to fall in and a step stool and she used the toilet from day dot. I didn't want to have to then reset her thinking from the potty to the toilet and go through the process again. It took about 3 days of taking her every 40 mins or so not really leaving the house and dancing around like a happy crazy person everytime she did something on the toilet! lol She is now 25 mo and is fully day trained with the odd accident but wears a nappy overnight.

I don’t think you are making a mountain out of a molehill at all. You’re the one dealing with all the washing, and I’m sure its not making your lo feel great having accidents all day! They have to follow your wishes. If you think she is not ready then maybe chat to her carers or talk to the director and ask them to give it a break for a few months and revisit when she’s displaying signs she understands what her body is doing. hth :-D


Belly Buddy- The awesome mrskc :)
Postby keene121 » Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:40 am

Thank you so much for your replies!

I spoke to the daycare (well I actually told them) and we have stopped the toilet training. I hit the ceiling when she came home with 5 changes of dirty clothing one day and that was it. :scream:

They asked my permission to put her on the toilet when they change her nappy and i dont have a problem with that.

I know they are not happy with it but tough bickies!! I kinda feel like I am doing myself an injustice as I figure anything she is learning now at day care will help when I start the training at home but at the same time, it must be really confusing and odd for her to be going through something she doesnt understand.

So, again, I thank you for your replies.
:luv1: K
Postby sweetums85 » Mon Sep 16, 2013 5:54 pm

I dont feel it is up to day care to decide however maybe encourage

with dd i started at 15 months just putting her on toilet so there was no fear or what it was about, around 18 months we got a few wees and poos and an understanding around 23 months she lost interest and i gave up persiting however mentiond to day care to practice when possible and seeing the other kids made her want to do it as soon as she shown interest 2 weeks later she was moved to the next room this was around 26 months we now just need to focas on night time training but i think we are a while off yet.

i dont feel that should push it if clearly need some time it could be simple 2-3 months break that might change everything.
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