Wedding Forum

[Beetlejuice]

Hi Girls, well as the topic states, this is for the New Brides to Be who need advice and guideance from the girls who were once in their shoes, the ladies who are now Mrs's.

Are you trying to work out a wedding on a budget and have no idea what you can and can't live out with your big day?

This thread is more a thread to help girls out who want the day, but can't afford everything.

Hopefully the advice from our past Brides to Be can provide you with some much needed advice on the things that they found were important to their big day and the things that if they could, would have maybe got a cheaper version or gone without

So if your a Bride from the past, please share with the Brides to Be what is it that you found were the important features of your day (dress/photographer ect) and what would you have gone without or even gone with a cheaper version now the day has passed

[Beetlejuice]

I know I created this thread, but I thought I would share from my experience. (from my first marriage)

I had to have my dream wedding. I wanted to the big dress, the fancy cars, the big cake, the big reception, the fancy invitations ect and as a result we ended up getting a loan to pay for it. Looking back, I wish I knew what I know now as it would have saved me a bundle.

I had to have a $1200 cake, it had 4 tiers and very fancy. On the day,everyone noticed the cake (as it was lovely)
but by the time it came to eat it, everyone was full so hardly any of it got eaten. Looking back now, i would have used the cake as my desert (reducing the costs of the reception) - I also would have gone a smaller cheaper version too
we kept the top tier and freezed it and on our first anniversary went to eat it and it tasted awful

I had to have 2 stretch limo's (not sure why now) but realistically everyone only saw them for about 30 minutes and we only have 1 photo of them in them. Looking back, I could have hired the car for 2 hours instead of 6. enough time to have my photo's with them and get me to and from the venue (also having ceremony/venue in the one spot..saves heaps of costs)

Photographer - Paid $2100 for, but wouldn't change that. got the best photo's and although i don't look at them much now, my son can still see photo's of his mum and dad when we were together.

Flowers - Spent over $1000 for them and by the end of the day, they died and didn't look well. Looking back I would have gone artificial. They're alot cheaper and they also last forever...

Invitations - spent over $1500 for them. looking back, would have gone a cheaper (but nice) version. Its a lot of money for something a lot of people throw away.

[Krys]

Great thread idea, Bron!

I think for me, one of the most important things I learned in my planning process was to not be afraid to haggle! It doesn't matter how much of a tightarse it makes you sound like it is WORTH it in the long run!!

I haggled nearly everything! We saved thousands, a few key ones we haggled the most with was our Venue and our Photographer. If you want them but they're a little out of your price range -- why not ask anyway? You've got nothing to lose!

As far as details goes, having everything fancy and everything gorgeous is fantastic -- but how much of it are you really going to notice?

A few things we didn't do/saved money on;

* We didn't have Order of Service Booklets, we only had a civil ceremony that went for about 30 minutes -- if they wanted to know what was going on all they had to do was listen!
* We didn't have Menu's on our tables, as we had a set menu (alternating entree, main & dessert) people were going to get what they were given anyway, so we figured it was a waste of money and atleast this way it was a surprise!
* We didn't have a Guest Book, some of them are worth hundreds and we didn't see the need to spend so much money on something that will get jammed in a cupboard. We bought 2 $12 frames from The Reject Shop and had Signature Frames instead!
* We didn't buy bubbles, confetti etc. I'd been to that many Weddings where they were left behind and not used so I didn't see the point. I made up around 20 Rose Cones myself and had some dried rose petals inside so that we could get the look, the few who wanted them took them the rest were taken by the bridal party -- none went to waste!
* We didn't pay for the Videographer to be there throughout the Getting Ready process of the day. I'd seen lots of samples where they did this and I just didn't think it was necessary, everybody looks uneasy in front of the camera. Instead my Mum filmed bits and pieces throughout the morning and our Photographer caught the rest.
* We didn't buy fancy cake bags or boxes, we had our cake cut up and served at the same time as the dessert, each person got a slice of cake on their plate and this way our cake didn't go to waste! People are often too shy to say "yes I want cake" after dessert!

Things we splurged on that I regret;

* I had never been in a Limo before, so I really really wanted one for my big day and to be honest, I wish we didn't. We had all of our photos at our Venue so we only needed it to get from home to the venue and the entire time I was too busy thinking about getting married I never really enjoyed being in a limo, it was barely seen and was barely used -- a big waste of money!

EW seems to be having an issue with the size of my post, so will continue in another post.

[Beetlejuice]

We didn't have Order of Service Booklets, we only had a civil ceremony that went for about 30 minutes -- if they wanted to know what was going on all they had to do was listen!

i love it

[Krys]

Things I'm glad we spent money on

* My dress, shoes, jewellery and veil... I was wearing these (minus the veil) the entire day, in every single photo of me you can see these things and I am so glad that I didn't buy a cheap chinese dress that I wouldn't be 150% happy with. My dress is gorgeous, I love it and I love that each time I look at the pictures of me wearing it I fall in love with it all over again.

* Our Photographer; we definitely didn't go the cheapest option (but by no means the most expensive) and while 2nd to our Venue he was the most expensive thing we had for our day he was by far the most valuable. Our photos are amazing, they show how gorgeous our day was and how happy we were. We can never recreate our day again, these are the photos that will hang on our walls forever, our children will look at these photos and maybe even hang them on their walls. We wanted photos we would be PROUD of and we didn't want to look back and regret not paying the extra $500 for something that lasts a lifetime.

A few planning tips

* Put things into perspective, you might ummm and ahhh about spending $3000 on a Photographer/Dress... but you may be willing to spend $1200 on a cake that gets eaten (or worse still, thrown out), or perhaps you'll be like me and spend $1100 on a car that you sit in for 30 minutes. Think about the things that will be there always!

* Be very particular with your planning and write LISTS! Lists for EVERYONE! One for the Photographer, one for the Videographer, the Venue etc.. make sure everybody knows exactly what you want out of your day! If you desperately want the picture of you standing at a window with your train flowing out make sure your photographer knows!!

* Make sure you appoint someone on the day who you trust to make decisions for you; don't just thnk your parents or somebody will.. otherwise they WILL come and interupt your photo time and stress you out with unnecessary questions!

* Ask for help!! Everybody on EW is extremely helpful and if you want help.. just ask!!

[Lissat_81]

Things I think are important to not go the cheapest option or things I would not change...

My dress (I loved it and it was not that expensive in the scheme of things, only $1,200 and while it was not designer label, it was custom made and good materials, but it pays to shop around and see what your options are). At the end of the day, it is something you will see in your photos for years to come and it makes you feel good on the day if you are happy with your dress.

Photographer... I was not entirely happy with mine and at the end of the day, it is something you will have for many years to come and is a memory of the day...

Violinist - I was told about "wasting money" by relatives getting this but it added a touch of elegance to the day and as it turned out, everyone really enjoyed hearing her...

Celebrant - She was not the cheapest but she handled everything/everyone really well on a difficult day (bad weather, garden wedding, rain kept everyone under the pergola and I arrived about ten minutes after it had finished and she rearranged the decorations and walking path to accommodate us girls in our heels and dresses)

Ceremony decorations - It cost a bit but it made the place look fantastic and no fuss worrying about tidying anything up or putting it together ourselves...

Venue - We did not pay a fortune but did our research and found a place that included a lot of things in the package, which saved us quite a bit of money in the end and the night ran so well and smoothly that I have no complaints at all, food was also quite nice, everyone raved about it so it paid to listen to advice from other people who had had or been to weddings there...

Things we saved money on...

I found realllllly nice shoes at Payless so it pays to check out places like that and save $$ and still get somethig lovely...

We ordered a lot off ebay... Guestbook with Pen stand ($35.00) and looked as good, if not better than other places which wanted $90.00 just for the book alone...

[Lissat_81]

More stuff we save money on off ebay...

Bombinerre organza bags... under $10.00 for $100.00... the chocolates... we bought Dove chocolate packs on sale for $2.00 each (included 22 individually wrapped pieces, put 2 in each bag and everyone got nice chocolate they ate)...

We bought my garter from ebay... $10.00 (I think) as opposed to other places...

We got our champagne glasses and one for each bridesmaid and beer mugs for the groomsmen for a BARGAIN price, engraved and individual colours chosen for decorations, cannot remember the exactly price but wayyyyy cheaper than the stores, from Parklea Markets...

I bought my jewellery from ebay for $15.00 total, Hong Kong seller, really lovely and noone guessed on the day, same with Bridesmaid jewellery..

Hair fascinators for $25.00 each off an ebay seller (in store looking at $90.00 onwards! Some $190.00!)


Oh!!!! Veil... I bought that at the bridal store because I tried ebay but do NOT recommend, the quality was not as good but then it may be who I bought from also...

Got some ivory flats online that I just could not find at stores for later in the night if I needed, were like $35.00 from memory...

[Mis T]

Things we saved on:

* Shopped around for reception venues- found one where we could bring our own spirits for them to serve, saved a bundle on bar tab.
* Did the music ourselves via ipod and had my uncle as mc
* No videographer, got video off a cousin who taped it any way.
* Used cars of friends (no actually saw the cars as guests were on the church when I arrived and the cars were parked around the back of the church)

Glad we spent dosh on:

* Photographer- we got every single image and they are amazing!
* The food at the reception- every guest loved it!
* We did have Order of Service books- but I'm glad we did as it was a Greek Orthodox ceremony.
* Dress and Suit- Loved it felt amazing dont regret a thing!


There's probably more but those are the ones that spring to mind straight away.

[Lissat_81]

Cake... I agree... it looks nice to have a huge cake but its not really worth it.. We only had a two tier cake and made a dent on the bottom one but not the top... We had bought cake bags though for around $10.00 online (ebay once again)

Hmmm.. cars... we were lucky it was included in the package so did not cost us anything on top but if we were to have done it, probably would not have went all out because realistically, many people do not remember and you do not end up with many photos of the car anyhow / Long as looks presentable, think that is all that matters...

My flowers... well my aunty put them together so cannot comment on the costs of those / I just paid for actual cost $179.00. My advice though from this... if you have anyone that can organise something for you at a good price, use it.

Invites... we organised ours through a seller on ebay and they came out perfectly for a verrrry reasonable price of $2.80 per invite and less fuss for us to worry about...

Handbags... for the bridesmaids (mine was included with dress, matching material), I ordered off ebay for virtually nothing, silver clutches.

[S2BMrsTaylor]

Hi Ladies,

I am getting married in 2 weeks and technically don't qualify to post but really want to share a couple of experiences to help brides to be.

Wedding dress woe 1- Wedding dress carry bag. I got my dress made to measure from a bridal place which wasn't exactly cheap. When it came time to pick up my dress, it was handed to me in a clear see-through plastic bag, like those used by dry cleaners. I was flabbergasted and disgusted. When I asked if they had anything else, was told if I was not happy, complain to management. 2- Fittings. I was told after I had ordered the dress and paid the deposit and was trying to book in for a fitting that fittings for the dress could only take place Mondays to Wednesdays as the seamstress only worked those days.

Lessons learnt if I had to do it again: (1) Ask about how the dress will be delivered/presented for collection (2) Ask whether they do weekend fittings or else, you might have to take a lot of time off work!

I also had a pre-wedding shoot in another dress and I had on a pair of shoes with a lot of bling. Sadly, the bottom of the dress is now quite damaged as it kept catching on the diamantes!

Hope the above helps someone!