If there is one thing I am sure of, it is – you can’t please everyone. So just aim to please yourself. Wow that sounds pretty selfish.

We have thrown a few ideas around of a gift for all of our guests, the one key criteria being that it has to be “us”.  Our flavour, our style and our sense of humour.

We are no-where near choosing what it will be, it will definitely be a surprise, but I can confirm it will not be a whoopie cushion (although that would be pretty funny). The drawing board is getting a work-out.

She Says

Sugared Almonds?

Bomboniere… That old chestnut! Or should I say, that old sugared almond…?

We want to do something that represents our style and that is original, but I’m not sure if that’s even possible! Whether you’ve seen it at a wedding or heard about it from a friend, it seems we know about it all… From sugared almonds to personalised rock candy to little gingerbread bride and grooms, they are all cute ideas, but as I said, I feel like it’s all been done, and done well!

So how do you be original without it costing a fortune… Or… Is it one tradition we simply just skip???

This is what the boys will look like – minus the tie, of course.

My fiance Matt said that he doesn’t want to wear a tie for our wedding.

We’ve been talking about the overall look of the wedding and what he wants, and he has decided on grey suits, white shirts, grey waistcoats but no tie!

I’m OK with it but it seems that a few of our family members believe a tie must be worn at a wedding. We not as traditional so we don’t feel the boys must wear ties.

I think that it’s Matt’s big day too, so he should – or shouldn’t – wear what he feels comfortable in and, if that means no tie, then that’s fine by me.

The wedding is in February, so he’s even thinking about ditching his jacket if it’s too hot and, being mid February, there is a good possibility it will be very hot and that they won’t be able to cope in the heat.

To be honest, if they’re going for a no-tie look, I think it would look even better with their sleeves rolled up (just like in the picture), especially if it ends up being really hot.

We haven’t told the rest of the family about THAT yet! They’re still struggling with the idea of no ties.

We should probably have jackets on hand – just in case – for the ceremony and the formal photos. but we don’t know where we are going to get the suits from yet.

When we were in Thailand last April, Matt was fitted for a suit that he wore at our engagement party and loves it. So, maybe we could get the same company to make his wedding suit.

Matt thinks he’s going to have his buck’s weekend in Thailand but it’s soooo not going to happen. As if we could afford it before the wedding! If he does manage to get over there, it would make sense to get his suits made at the same place – and all his groomsmen will be with him.

I actually really like the idea of getting the boys’ suits made in Thailand, since that’s where we got engaged, I think it’s cute.

Whatever we decide, I’ll get back to you with updates on the suits!

What are your thoughts? Ties or no ties for the boys?

He Says

A video huh?  For some reason it took some arm-twisting to get me interested enough to be involved in researching the idea.

I’ve had this embedded visual of glittery & corny fades, edited to music chosen from a stock library of 1980’s b-list power ballads.  Not that there is anything wrong with that. It’s just not our style.  It doesn’t fit with anything else we are and we will do for our big day.

Thankfully there is something modern, and we found it in Dreamlife Photo’s & Video.  Everything we watched online had a grace and sensitivity.  But you could just tell that it was about the people – the bride, the groom, the family & the friends.  That’s a big tick for me.

Cudos to Jessica for her persistence on this one, I reckon it’s gonna pay off.

She Says

Honestly, the thought of being in front of a video camera really freaks me out! So booking a videographer for our big day didn’t even cross my mind… initially… So why am I now convinced that we must have one??? Is it wedding FOMO?

I have asked a lot of people their opinion about what we should do and whether it was all worth it (especially when on a budget!!). There were some great debates and some really helpful comments…

In the end one of the most prevailing arguments was that, video can capture that extra little ‘something’ that photographs can’t… speeches, vows, the first dance and of course the ability to sit down with our kids, grandkids and even friends that can’t make it and share that moment time and time again!

So how do we know what videographer to choose…? I think it is quite a personal choice. It is very important to me that we choose a videographer that has a very subtle approach (as mentioned above, I’m not good with cameras and would most likely freeze if confronted with one). And we also wanted to make sure that our guests don’t feel like they are being followed, watched or forced to “send a message to the bride and groom”.

Our next step was to get a shortlist of the local companies from the easy weddings site and I had a look at a few of their websites and demo videos. I watched a few great videos which I really enjoyed, but it was when I watched one from Dreamlife Photos & Video and found myself sitting in my living room with tears running down my face, that I knew these were the people to organise a meeting with…

Hope all goes well!!

Dreamlife Photos & Video on Vimeo.

SHE SAID

After eight great years together, it was no surprise that I said ‘yes’ when Jared proposed, however the day was still full of surprises.

Since we started dating, I had been bugging him to take to me to the Twelve Apostles (or the eight remaining Apostles which is more accurate!). So, when he said he had a surprise for me and we would be driving near the coast, I kind of guessed the secret but managed to keep my mouth shut because I didn’t want to ruin it for him!

Little did I know what was actually coming up!

Wreck Beach – The exact spot where Jared proposed!

It was the day after Australia Day, 2012 and it was an amazingly beautiful, sunny day to visit the Apostles. Unfortunately a zillion tourists thought the same thing, so after being overwhelmed and intimidated by the thought of proposing in front of such a large audience, Jared decided to abort Plan A (as I found out later) and go with Plan B. Lucky for me he even had a Plan B!

Jared had found this secret beach called ‘Wreck Beach’ just off the Great Ocean Road.

I call it ‘secret’ as it was quite difficult to locate and even the roads disappeared on Google Maps!

After traveling ‘off road’ for a while, the road started to get thinner and thinner to the point where only 1 car could drive along it. In fact, on one side of the road was a wall of rock and on the other a steep fall down a cliff face. Ok, so that may be a slight exaggeration, but I can tell you that is how it felt at the time.

So, naturally I completely freaked out and told Jared to stop the car because I didn’t want to go any further. Of course, Jared reacted by freaking out himself because he knew that stopping meant all his plans would be ruined.

Eventually another car came along, a little Toyota, and Jared reassured me that, “if that car can make it, we can too.” I was convinced and after a moment to calm my nerves, we got back to it. Little did I know that I’d freaked out just 50 metres from the car park where we were to stop! We had a good chuckle about that later.

We trekked down to the beach and I was standing on the shore when Jared came up behind me, gave me a hug and put something in my hand.

My reply was “what’s this?” and then I turned around to see Jared on one knee. You can guess the rest…

HE SAID

It is fairly ridiculous that it took so long for me to propose to Jess. I could have popped the question to her very early on as I was always sure of “us”.

Call it society pressures, but I felt it would be frowned upon to jump in, so I waited, and so did Jess – not knowing when it was supposed to seem right, because it was always right to me.

With an overseas trip to Europe on the horizon, it seemed everyone was sure that I was planning something in any one of the very romantic locations we were visiting. So, I happily used that as a decoy to my real plan.

Big smiles all round – just after we got engaged!

I asked permission from Jess’ mother and father on the Wednesday before Australia Day, 2011 and am happy to report they approved.

I had told Jess I had a secret day organised and convinced her that we should both take the Friday off work. We woke to a lovely morning and headed along the beautiful Great Ocean Road, all the way to the Twelve Apostles.

Jess had never been, so this only further threw her off the scent of what I was really up to.

On the way back we stopped at a very secluded beach located about 15 mins from Port Campbell.

It’s absolutely stunning and, incredibly, even had incredible shipwreck ruins, so it was a gem of a find.

The journey down to the shore proved eventful and there were a couple of decent hiccups. For a moment my plan was on the ropes but by the time we got down to the water’s edge and saw those amazing views, I knew that this was it.

I bit the bullet and when I went down on one knee, I saw her beautiful smile and it was all worth it.

She said yes.

I was dragged to a garage sale by my mother and, oh boy, am I so thankful now!

Secretly, I want to have an Alice in Wonderland-themed tea party feature table at my reception. I hadn’t told anyone, but I’ve been thinking about it. So, when I walked into the garage sale and with the Alice in Wonderland theme, and when I walked into this garage sale, I saw the most beautiful tea set I’ve ever laid eyes upon.

It was love at first sight – and they only wanted  $25 for my dream tea set.

I forked over my money quick smart and took it home – and now I can not stop looking at this beauty.

It’s Noritake Nippon Toki Kaisha, too. That means diddly squat to me but, according to my brother-in-law, it is good – and very expensive. So, I seem to have grabbed myself a bargain!

If you know anything about China, please do let me know. I am intrigued.

Regardless of its cost or its history, this beautiful tea set is mine – and it’s going to be a truly memorable part of my wedding day.

Aside from the usual things, was there an item that you really loved and that made your day that much more special?

Let me start this by saying that I am not a girly girl and that I never expected to get married - ever!

I’ve never dreamed of my wedding dress but I did always think that shopping for it was supposed to be a really special day, one filled with lots of wow-factor and plenty of warm and fuzzies.

Well, shopping for my wedding dress was NOTHING like that. Seriously.

The plan was simple: my maid of honor, a good friend and one of my bridesmaids was going to help me find the perfect wedding dress.

Needless to say, things didn’t go according to plan.

The first thing that put a damper on my big dress shopping day was that not one of my family members showed even an inkling of interest in coming with me -  even though I dropped several very big hints. So, that was a bit of a blow.

Then, it turns out, two of my companions were just like me, perhaps worse. They just aren’t girly girls and weddings and marriage aren’t on either of their radars, so I was bracing myself for a little impatience and a day with a less-than-enthusiastic bunch.

But they surprised me, which was great and they remained fairly optimistic – and supportive – in the first two shops we hit!

I had made a booking for 10am at a boutique near my maid of honor’s house. I was actually excited and genuinely could not wait to try on a bunch of dresses and see what styles of dress I’d like.

Then we arrived and my excitement was soon quashed.

The sales assistant told me I could only choose five dresses from her range and that she would then select which dress I could try on. Seriously?

When we finally got to trying them on, she kept pitching a sale for the dress I was wearing – and then rushed me out of the dress when she realised I didn’t like it.

I felt so rushed, I can honestly say that I do not remember what any of the dresses in the first shop looked like!

Then, at 10.50, she tells me that we have to wrap things up quickly and that she simply cannot spend anymore time with me – but not before one more attempt at getting me to buy one of the dresses.

How could she expect me to buy something I didn’t even get to spend more than a few minutes in.

Argh…

The experience in shop number two was much better.

The salesperson was very polite, she didn’t rush us and even let us take some photos, too, which was great. Unfortunately, I couldn’t try on any of my favourite dresses because they weren’t available in my size.

For some reason, they had only small sizes, very few above size 12. I was a little disappointed and didn’t think it was unreasonable to expect to be able to try on a size 12 dress or even a size 14 dress, for that matter.

Grrr. There are plenty of brides who aren’t size 12 in the world!

How they expect it to work, I do not know because, to me, it would make more sense to try on larger dresses than not try on a dress because it’s so small.

Instead, she expected me to imagine myself in a tiny little dress that could look completely wrong on my body shape.

Oh, dear! Two down, one to go!

Shop three was absolutely stunning.

There were so many absolutely beautiful wedding dresses and they were having a sale, too, so it was perfect timing.

I tried on so many dresses but there was always something missing from each one and, again, a lot of them were too small, so it was hard to really see how the dress would sit on my frame.

By now, my companions were growing impatient and I could sense they were barely surviving the deluge of wedding dresses.

At least two of them were having difficulty focusing and it was pretty obvious they were becoming frustrated with the whole process.

After so many hours, I could feel myself becoming emotional in the change room because it was just too much hearing them grumbling and mumbling. On top of that, the attendant kept telling us what we were thinking was wrong and that she was right. Really? Apparently she knew what I liked better than I did!

I could only handle so much of this before I felt like screaming!

We left eventually, but I was still not much closer to finding the perfect wedding dress, though I had a bit of a better idea of what I did like – and what I most definitely did not like.

Oh, well. I suppose I’ll have to do it all again – and keep on doing it until I find the perfect dress. I know it’s out there, somewhere!

Please tell me it gets better, or at least that my first experience is typical?

Did you experience that ‘wow, that’s the dress’ moment I was hoping for but never got?

Enjoyed celebrating our engagement!

HE SAID:

The way the people you love respond to finding out you are engaged is one of those moments of pure happiness, head to toe.

We spread the news we were engaged straight away but I felt we needed celebrate in style.

It took a little encouragement from our folks, experienced in life as they are, to see that having family and family friends all in one place to was something definitely worth doing. These people shaped us as a couple, and I hope having them there helped them understand how much they mean to us.

We listed the pros and cons of having an engagement shindig at home or at a venue, and the consensus was that the money saved doing it at home wasn’t worth the time, effort, organisation, cleaning and stress that came with putting all of it on without professional help.

We weighed up venues for a long time, and settled on Calibar in Scorseby (Melbourne), a great place that was affordable, close to everyone, had great food, and a good selections of drinks. Vital also was that the manager on the night was great at working with us to make it all run smoothly. With a cake knocked up by one super-skilled sister in law (to be), and everyone chipping in, the whole thing turned out to be a great celebration of what Jess and I are now embarking on…

My advice if considering having an engagement party is, however big or small – do have it. The company you keep will make anything worthwhile. And a small amount of effort from a small army can get mountains climbed.

SHE SAID:

We first decided not to have an engagement party, after all, we did have a wedding to save for!! But our family convinced us it was a good idea and we are so glad we did!!

Our yummy cake - Made by Emily!

We both wanted a fairly casual night, just drinks and nibbles with the extended family. We also wanted to keep the decorations simple (and to a small budget!). That’s where my crafty sister Emily  came in very handy. We convinced her to make some home made candles, which really set the mood and luckily for us, she is also an avid (and very good) cake maker!

She asked us what we wanted and our instructions were “three tiers with the sweetheart lollies”… and this is what she produced!!! Amazing – and delicious!!

The night was a bit of a whirlwind. There was lots of chatting and we were so humbled by all the love and well wishes we received.

We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and Melbourne even surprised us with a beautiful balmy March evening.

When we had to choose a celebrant for our wedding ceremony, it wasn’t hard at all. I knew instantly that I wanted the same celebrant who officiated my son’s naming ceremony, David Schneider.

We had another experience with a celebrant (for my daughter’s naming day)  and there was a massive difference.

David has to be the most professional celebrant I have dealt with to date, and at the same time, he’s very friendly and instantly makes you feel comfortable.

It’s all in his name – Professional Ceremonies – David Schneider – and that is what we got. The way he wrote our son’s ceremony was so personalised that I just knew he would be perfect for our wedding.

He did not let me down.

He came to visit us at our home (for no additional charge) and handed me this folder filled with information on the ceremony, options for vows and well  just about everything we needed to make creating a ceremony with David easy. My fiance and I could just tell that he must have been doing this for a long time.

He shared some great stories and experiences with us which to be honest made us feel good and in the right hands. He even mentioned that he has done Filipino weddings before which is wonderful because my fiance is Filipino, not that we are sure if we are doing anything traditional yet, but the option to have it is great.

I really am looking forward to having him officiate, and I am really looking forward to the first draft of our ceremony. There really was no hesitation. He was most definitely the one and I didn’t need to shop around and, hey, we know he will help us celebrate in the perfect way possible for us.

Plus… look at his folder. It’s red! I love it!

I had an idea in my head as to what I wanted the groomsmen to wear, but no-one seemed to be able to understand what I was thinking.

I was also wondering about whether I should ask them to pay for their outfits themselves.

I didn’t want anything too fancy because we are having a picnic themed wedding. I knew I wanted vests and I knew roughly the colour I liked, but, well, the words just weren’t coming out right so I drew it up on the computer.

My fiance thought it was the most hilarious thing he had seen, I think it’s cute – and it shows exactly what I want!

What do you think?

I had to add the heads or you couldn't really get my drift

Two weeks before his big day, Brisbane Lions’ No.9 player Ashley McGrath received a call that would change his life. His wife, Amanda McGrath, shares their wedding story and intimate wedding pictures.