How do I convince my fiancé to elope?

Hello Daniella,

That is a really hard question. If you give him a list of the different expenses maybe he would come around then.

Another alternative is that you can elope and then have a party for all the people you would have invited (parties aren't as expensive as receptions)

Another alternative is to have an extremley small wedding with Mums, Dad, and any siblings and just tell everyone else know that you opted for a very private Wedding. (You don't have to tell them that you couldn't afford it)

Hope you find a solution,

Marina

That's a difficult one as you want to please one another. I would suggest that you only invite your closest friends and family. When my son and daughter in law were married, they made a point of not inviting people who hadn't had some input into their lives. So it was a small wedding of only 76 people including the bridal party. It was small, intimate and beautiful! However if you're determined to elope and not have the big shindig, then do it. But you must get your fiance's approval for that. Perhaps just your parents and immediate family (brothers and sisters). I've done numerous weddings like this. On many occasions I've just had the bride and groom and their two witnesses. Those are really lovely and just as beautiful as the big weddings. Good luck!!!

Sometimes we want something so much, or feel something so intensely that we can get in the way of our own best interests. But no matter how strongly you want to communicate something, your partner will best hear and respond to you if you are simultaneously showing that you are still conscious of his or her needs.

Hi Daniella.I understand how you feel. Marriage is about compromise and about being open and honest. The wedding can be small and intimate with just the closest of family members present at a location you both love.The celebrant you choose would be able to develop a beautiful meaningful ceremony with you both so that it will be a momentous occasion.The reception can be equally intimate eg. going out to dinner, reception at home, cocktails. The money saved can be spent on a honeymoon or for a home.Good luck in your discussions with your future husband.

Hi Daniella, i have performed over 100 elopements during my career and its always the most relaxed, fun and personal celebration of love. With only a few close family or friends in attendance, the cost is minimal and the thousands that are saved can be spent on a most luxurious and unforgettable honeymoon! Perhaps this approach to your fiance will help with the decision. Good luck!

Congratulations to you both, and this is a very exciting time for you both, I can understand what your asking Daniella. There is a couple of way's to compromise with your fiancé.

* Have you got a family member or friend who would offer their large backyard/land/farm; so you could have everyone but not the expense of hiring a Wedding Venue. or

* If you do Elope, this can be a wonderful way to get married without the huge expenses; But; I've had a couple of my friends do this 5 years ago and the family didn't like it at all, and it took them nearly 2 years to stop talking about it. SO; my suggestion to you/both; is if you work out that its better to Elope send everyone a message and then tell them to hold onto their hats for the next message in a couple of days. Then send everyone a photo of you both with a sign saying we have just Eloped or We want to tell you all we are Married or Mr & Mrs..................................

I hope this has helped you Daniella to have a couple of different ideas to play with, sometimes to get ahead for the future we have to move away from tradition. You both might get some idea's from my pintrest; Annette Wedding Celebrant. or don't hesitate to email me if you have anymore questions; annette.authorisedcelebrant@gmail.com

Regards Annette. :)

The word elope is a bit harsh. Suggest to your fiancee that saving your well earned dollars on a house, furniture, wonderful honeymoon would make you happier and will take any stress re finances out of your relationship. So many couples spend huge amount of money on their wedding day and then it's all over so quickly. Perhaps suggest, that after you are married, you come back to your loved ones and invite them to a celebration party, or take a few people out to dinner. Most people understand this is the fiscal environment of today. If there are parents who will be upset by your decision, use your imagination and incorporate a honored speech to them at the party/function, or present them with a beautiful arrangement of flowers - do something for them you know they would love and appreciate to feel part of your marriage.

Perhaps research, and show him photos of Noosa Elopements, and how gorgeous they are,then suggest a big gathering on your return home to celebrate your marriage.This would cover both your needs. I would strongly encourage you to consider do the pre-marriage education course with Relationships Australia, and in this way a mediator can discuss with you both that you are not on the same page when it comes to your special day. I wish you well!

Daniella, I really sympathize with you as it is difficult to compromise when you both have different expectations. All I can say is that you need to sit with him and talk about the pros and cons of a big wedding vs the elopement (and don't just focus on the financial issues here). Honestly, I have been a celebrant at both elopements and big weddings, and elopements are much more intimate and are really all about your love for each other...not about keeping friends and family happy, etc. In fact, the last elopement I performed was so moving, I had tears too! Perhaps you could elope with a few chosen friends and family and then hold a big celebration a few weeks later for everybody to come...but more like a party rather than a formal wedding reception. Good luck and I hope you can both reach a compromise

Hi, Daniella, Some of my most beautiful weddings have been elopements - a lot of them from overseas but also lots from Sydney. One eloping couple I met had parents insisting on 500 guests for the bride's side of the family and when the groom suggested 50 he was told that was too many! So they decided to elope to the Mount Tomah Botanic Gardens with just their two closest friends as witnesses. It was so full of joy, there was absolutely no stress and they saved themselves and their parents a huge amount of money. As the cost of weddings increases I think that I will be seeing a lot more of these. All the best, Philip Holland